I'm so bored and lonely
My town is so small and stupid. The homeschooling co-op i was in ended weeks ago. There's literally NOTHING to do in this stupid town besides sports that I obviously can't do. I don't even want to try to hang out wirh friends. I hate coordinating and everyone I know is so bad at it and I know they aren't being malicious but when I have to jump through SO many hoops just to get a confirmed date from them it really feels like they just don't gaf about me. And because I'm so bored and doing NOTHING I have so much pent up energy that I have no where to direct and so I cant freaking sleep so my body hurts more and you'd think with the whole CFS thing that'd mean I'd be sleeping eariler bht no I'm just too exhausted and sore to do anything and too stationary to actually fall asleep at night whixh means I'm typing this at 4am. And it makes me all so mad but being mad requires me to use brain power and I just cant so I cry instead which requires my body's power so I'm in even more pain than before and then I'm crying even more. Everything in my life is made of cycle and it suck so bad.