AITA for hurting my mom's feelings?
First of all, I'm terrible at english so pls bear with me.
I (21F) am a daughter of a separated (divorce is not allowed in my country) couple. My parents separated when I was only in preschool so I had no recollection of what truly went wrong in their relationship. But, my father's family, whom we stayed with since the separation, along with other people close to my parents, told me it was my mom's fault. They told me she repeatedly cheated and was somewhat abusive to my father. She had also used our family's business, which btw my father's family financed and paid the capital for, as an excuse not to stay at home and constantly interact with other people including the men she cheated with. She'd always be gone by morning and be back by dawn the next day. My uncle has records of her texting her other men. It was nasty.
On top of all these, she even insulted my grandparents about how they've raised a total loser. My grandparents who paid all the debts and mortgages she left us with.
And no that is not all. She also brought my brothers with her when she left and the last time I've seen and heard from them was more than ten years ago, when I was still in like first or second grade. I'm a junior now in college. Ever since she left, the times she visited me could be counted in one hand. At first shed visit when I was still, again, in first or second grade and then she just vanished and reappeared out of the blue when I was already in senior high school, acting as if nothing happened. We never even talked on the phone when she vanished and I also dont know whether my brothers are still alive because she never allowed us to contact them or whatsoever until now.
FF, on mother's day, being the sometimes inconsiderate and always frivolous that I am, I shared a mother's day post and captioned it "happy mother's day except i dont really have one" . I meant it as a funny post not really something to express any hateful feelings or whatever. I didn't think much of it until my mother messaged me on messenger asking "so you don't think of me as your mother anymore?" added with "it's okay, i totally understand. you didn't grow up with me anyway because you just wouldn't come with me when i left. i just hope you're well and happy. i will always pray you'll succeed in everything you do" I was like "😦😦". It didn't even occur to me that she will see it because she never engages in any of my posts. tho honestly if i had known i would've still posted it anyway and just hid it from her. anyway im feeling so guilty about it. i apologized and tried reaching out but she would no longer respond to my messages. i know i just insulted her and tho i barely care about her, I'm concerned as to how she'd cope with the pain i inflicted especially because she has history of harming herself.
pls help me. what should i do? am i the asshole?