u/GazelleLopsided8718

Salam,
I posted on here about a week ago about my roughly 2 month long engagement where I found out the guy was smoking marijuanna and lying about other things and yet he was the one to break it off. He asked for the gold back and initially I said no because he broke it off with no wrongdoing by me and I felt tricked into the engagement. This post got a lot of negative uproar towards me and told me I should just give it back. I thought about it and listened because I also didn’t want to cause issues between the families. I gave the gold to my uncle and my uncle called my ex fiance saying he can come pick it up. When he went to go pick it up he had brought along his brother in law. My ex fiance and his brother in law started saying disrespectful things and making up lies about me to my uncle. My uncle said he would not give back the gold now due to the disrespect towards me that they started upon arriving. There was a lot of back and fourth from families within 2 days and my family didn’t want to give it back anymore as he had the chance to go in peace and pick it up but decided to cause issues instead. To briefly add, I had family coming from overseas and my side of the family also spent lots of money in preparation of the wedding in a month. My family lost just as much money as the gold was worth. My uncle overseas had messaged me this morning to tell me that we (my family) are going to give the gold back. I am very angry and upset and it has NOTHING to do with the golds monetary value but more so that they disrespected me loudly and went on to slander my name to others outside of the family and 2 days later we’re going to just give them what they want? My family also told me not to message him or his family after they made up lies about me and I stayed quiet but for what? They just get to disrespect me and walk away with what they want? I was trying to be cordial and not have the situation escalate. This seems so unfair and unfortunately I wish I kept the gold and didn’t listen to anyone if he was going to slander my name anyways.

I F22 got engaged about 2 months ago to M27 from a guy I met through work. We got families involved pretty quickly and also started wedding planning quickly as well. It seemed like a fairytale and everything was so perfect and easy. Well I started noticing that he does things that I wasn’t okay with (marijuanna use, not praying at all). I noticed I started making excuses for him because he was kind, caring, and a good hearted person. A couple days ago I had brought up these things which then spiraled into an argument of both of us pointing out things we don’t like about each other. He told me he was gonna go run an errand and came back about an hour later and asked me to sit down and then told me he doesn’t think we’re right for each other. I was shocked and hurt and couldn’t believe it but decided to leave. Before I left I asked him if that was a final decision and he couldn’t answer. We kinda left on the note that we’re both emotional and need a couple days separate to think clearly before making a final decision. Our wedding is literally next month and I haven’t told anyone about this yet and won’t until a final decision is made. I feel anxious and scared but do trust in Allah and hope what happens is for the best of me inshallah.