so last year i got this huge crush on a guy that i was kinda reluctive to tell him that. eventually, i got into this party, he was there, i talked to him and we hooked up. later i got his instagram and i kinda freaked out a little bit cause i didn't know how i could start a conversation with him.
a few days later, i saw a reels by alex cosani saying that if you want to talk to this person you should just slip in their dm's. i never send a message to him of his storys cause it was always about some political important issues and i didn't wanna talk abou that cause i wanted to flirt with him. kinda a missed skiled issue of mine but that doesn't matter.
so, following the reels, i slipped on his dm's and tried this subjetive about pop culture just to break the ice. crickets. he never even checked mine dm. ok, no answer still a answer.
it was a kinda a hard time for me cause i really thought this could be it, but it was a situation of social suicide at the end for me. i'm very shy and this situation didn't helped me at all but i guess it served as a lesson.
a few months later, olivia rodrigo released drop dead and gave an interviewed that she said she stalked this guy spotifys profile before their date. been there, done that. but that kinda triggered me, cause while i was on this fixation on this guy, i knew some of his social media. as i'm writing this i'm realising i'm a creep but that's not the point. so, he had tons of playlists on his spotify that was design by telling a story. and everytime i got to talk to him in real life (two times, the first when we kissed and the second when he said hi to me in the collage library and i kinda freaked out and confessioned my feelings for him and asked for his instagram cause it was private) i looked later if he made a playlist on this subjective. i know i sound crazy but i had an intuition and you'll see that i was kinda cooking with this thought.
anyways, after months of trying to get over this guy, got to hooked up with other boys and rejected a sweet guy that was kinda in love with me, i really thought i had it all figured out to move on from this situation. i was wrong. oliivia triggered me with the interview and i went back to his spotify. turns out, he made public a playlist named by the month we met and had in the profile the picture of the greek mithology that named me my name. WTF? he ghosted me and then made a playlist inspired by me?
i invistigated the playlist to see if in the lyrics of those songs i could understand what was his pov on our situation. the songs were kinda all over the place if it was about me indeed, but the song that reached out to me the most was "paper bag" by fiona apple. i guessed he thought i was just a little boy and wouldn't get him but he might liked me one day.
and then i went to his twitter profile (i'm insane and i'm not proud of it) and guess what is the image of the header? THE GREEK MITHOLOGY THAT GAVE ME MY NAME (which i will not tell you what it was).
after all this time, the guy is fixated on the story that gave the name of the guy that he kissed months ago, told him he was into him, wanted to got to know him and he kinda allowed that but not too much. it helps that when i first introduced myself to him my name the first thing he said was "oh, like the greek mithology?", so maybe i'm not that much of a insane person.
so, in conclusion, do you think this guy still thinks about me? did he ever received the message i sent to him? maybe he just didn't see it and thought that i just gave up to try this thing with him, but even so he could've reached out if that was the case. or maybe he just loves the story of the greek mithology and i'm definetely not in his mind. i can't reach out to him again cause i don't wanna get no reply again. he still follows me and sometimes checks my stories but sporadically.
please enlighten me on this, am i thinking too much about this? if not, i really need the reality check cause i'm really embarassed to say this stuff to my friends.