overwhelmed with my depression room
I made an account just to talk about this problem, its been eating away at me for so long. I've been neglecting my room for years now (doing surface-level cleaning once or twice a year but never looking any deeper into it) , and a few months ago I discovered mold growing on my walls. I've never felt so gross and inhumane before. All I have managed to clean so far were the parts of my walls that aren't obstructed by shelfs. I can't find the courage to clean my mess in order to get rid off the rest of the mold, I keep on freezing up and breaking into tears anytime I try to get anything done. I've been discussing this with my therapist and my closest friends yet it's just as difficult to tackle. The last thing I want is to bring another person into this mess.
It's been terrifying me, honestly, I feel afraid of my own room, of the gross mess that's been accumulating during the worst times of my life. I've been trying so hard to get my life together and this is where I get stuck. I don't know what to do anymore. Advice would be very appreciated but I mainly just needed to get this off of my chest again.