u/GeezVA

Script here in Google Docs form if you prefer.

Notes from the writer:
-Thanks for taking a look at this!
-Feel free to use this script for any sort of monetized content.
-If paywalled please provide me with some way to listen to the fill free of charge please
-Feel free to improv or change details
-Please provide credit (@GeezSauce801 on youtube or u/GeezVA on reddit) where credit is due

Key:
Italics - SFX
(Open Brackets) - Contextual Information
*pause* - used to indicate a break for the listener to “respond”
<Angled Brackets> - Emphasis
[Closed Brackets] - Vocal sound effects and tics

(For those unaware of the John Wick universe, the characters are part of an underground world of assassins that operate on their own terms outside of the law with their own special code of conduct. The Listener is a master assassin with a deadly reputation, known by nearly all of the underground world. The Speaker is a weapons expert and arms dealer who operates under a wine taster motif for… rule of cool really, just suspend your disbelief xD)

(Indoors with generic ambience, perhaps with some distant classical music playing in the background. The second movement of Violin Concerto in G minor by Samuel Coleridge-Taylor is what plays in my mind. The Sommelier is quiet, professional, and well-spoken, but is also a little bit of a nerd for guns and the listener’s work)

Soft Knocks

Yes, come in…

Door Opens

Ah, welcome! It is a pleasure to meet you, I will be your steward for your tasting this evening. I’ve been expecting to see you in my cellar for some time now. How has the Continental been treating you, friend?

*pause*

Good, good. Yes, the High Table had made your arrival very clear to my higher-ups and made <absolutely> sure that we would be prepared for you to walk into our doors. It is really important to us at the Seattle Continental that all of our clientele are comfortable in our establishment, but most especially for one of <your> notoriety. Excuse my non-professionalism but… I’ve heard that your skills in this line of work rival that of Mr. Wick himself… are the rumors true?

*pause*

[Chuckles] I see that your humility proceeds you. Have you already had your meetings with our cartographer and tailor?

*pause*

Excellent. With that I shall waste no more of your time and begin the tasting shortly. Please, take a seat, and tell me a little about this assignment of yours…

(Long pause where the listener explains their mission. The speaker responds with the occasional “mhm” and “I see…”)

Mmm… I understand. Close quarters, urban environment, numerous assailants… I think we can most definitely work with this. What are you looking for regarding your primary concealed carry?

*pause*

“Reliable… high-capacity… accurate…” Hmm… may I introduce to you the Staccato 2011: a derivative of the legendary design courtesy of Mr. Browning himself, this handgun continues to carry the reliability and battle-proven nature of its inspiration. 

Firearm handling SFX. Should be subtle and give the impression that the listener is inspecting the weapon. Play sporadically throughout the following monologue..

Unlike its predecessor, it is chambered in the more common 9x19mm round and accepts double-stacked magazines, greatly increasing the capacity of the handgun. This specific model I am showing you comes default with 17 round magazines, similar to the full-size Glocks I am sure you’re familiar with. However, I must recommend the 20 round extended magazines for your type of assignment; the 20 rounders are just as reliable as the shorter 17 round magazines.

The slide is manufactured with an optics mount directly from the factory to mount several different types of red-dot sights if you desire such a tool.

*pause*

Of course, the staccato has several options for iron sights. I would recommend suppressor-height tritium night sights for your specific needs. Are you interested in having some installed?

*pause*

Understood, I will pass that along to our armorers for you, friend.

May I also bring your attention to the several additions our armory has done to this model? The recoil spring has been replaced to remove some stiffness and make the cycling of subsonic and other specialty ammunition more reliable. The barrel has been replaced with a new one, adding a threaded muzzle for all types of devices - brakes, compensators, and suppressors. Take note of the flared magwell for quicker, more intuitive reloads under pressure.

Finally, the trigger has been replaced with a hair trigger for a faster practical fire-rate and more comfortable release on the single-action hammer that this handgun is manufactured with. 

Is this to your liking?

*pause*

Excellent, I will set a hold on this one for you. Now for your main entree, what are you looking for in a rifle?

*pause*

“Sturdy… compact… German…” I think I have something for you right… here. The G95KA1, manufactured by Heckler & Koch.

Firearm handling SFX. Should be subtle and give the impression that the listener is inspecting the weapon. Play sporadically throughout the following monologue..

 Weighing in at just over 7 pounds unloaded, equipped with a 14 inch barrel, chambered in 5.56x45mm, this carbine is an improvement on the HK416 platform used by both Navy SEALs and German Special Forces alike.

The carbine operates on a short-stroke gas piston operating system, improving reliability in the field while maintaining low weight and manageable recoil. When testing, the operating system is able to fire around 10,000 rounds in full-auto before malfunction. To put it simply, the rifle will fire when you need it to, every time.

Our armorers have also added a custom two-round burst selection to this model here for more accurate automatic fire if the need arises. We’ve also attached the EOTECH EXPS3 holographic 
sight paired with a 3x magnifier for longer range engagements, as well as canted iron sights if the main optics suffer any potential damages. The handguard has been extended and attached is a Magpul AFG-2 angled foregrip for greater muzzle control during firefights. Speaking of, the muzzle device is also accepting of suppressors, however the lack of subsonic ammunition will make suppression less effective.

*pause*

Yes, any and all attachments are able to be swapped out and changed to your liking. However, I must insist on the Holographic plus Magnifier combination rather than an LPVO for this assignment. The eyebox on several LPVOs can be… quite punishing and the holographic is superb for fast target acquisition at close range.

*pause*

I’m glad we can agree on that, friend… shall I add this to your hold order?

*pause*

Of course, my pleasure. Now, something for the… end of the night?

*pause*

“Bold… Big… Violent…” [Chuckles] I believe I have <exactly> what you are looking for. May I suggest… the Fostech Origin 12 SBV Semi-Automatic shotgun.

Firearm handling SFX. Should be subtle and give the impression that the listener is inspecting the weapon. Play sporadically throughout the following monologue.

Gas operated with a rotating bolt, derived partly from the Saiga 12 shotgun, this American-made weapon has made some rather notable improvements to the Russian design. The ejection port has been enlarged, the gas system is adjustable, and the weapon uses proprietary magazines all to ensure reliable feeding. 

Chambered in 2 and 3 quarter inch 12 gauge shells, the Origin 12 will reliably cycle full powered cartridges - whether it be buckshot, slugs, flechettes, etc.. Do keep in mind, however, that the weapon may struggle to cycle less powerful rounds, so I would recommend using this weapon only to kill for maximum effectiveness.

The variant you are holding is equipped with a short 9 and 3 quarter inch barrel for easy maneuverability in close-quarters as well as the SGM Tactical Saber Boss Breaching Device. The device is manufactured with aggressive breaching teeth at the tip of the muzzle and also has several vent holes around the device to make this device act as both a recoil compensator and a door breaching tool. Of course there is also always the aggressive aesthetics that such a muzzle device provides, however I must say there is no tactical advantage on that front.

The Origin 12 comes standard with 8 or 10 round magazines but can also accept larger drum magazines for extended suppressive fire at the cost of weight, maneuverability, and reliability.

We’ve also taken the liberty to attach the Modlite PLHv2 flashlight to the end of the handguard for increased accuracy during point shooting with the added benefit of potentially blinding any assailants that may come your way.

Finally, the Fostech Origin 12 comes manufactured with a standard AR-15 buffer-tube on the folding stock for ease of customizability; currently we have the Magpul DT-PR attached on this model but of course that can be swapped out based on your personal preference.

*pause*

Alright, keep the stock, excellent choice. Shall I add this to your hold?

*pause*

Of course, will do, friend. I think that should conclude this tasting, it was my pleasure to serve you, friend. Is there anything else I can do for you while I have you?

*pause*

Dessert? [Chuckles] Yes… dessert, it’s not often one asks for that these days. I would be more than happy to discuss dessert. How about… <this>.

“Shing” of a freshly drawn blade

 Allow me to introduce the Gerber Mark 2, an iconic work of art made famous in the jungles of Vietnam and extremely popular with elite military personnel worldwide.

The weapon is forged with a 6.5 inch double-edged blade, yielding an overall length of 12.75 inches. The handle is made from die-cast aluminum and textured with custom stippling for maximum grip and control, lest your hands get… <wet.>

Lightweight, incredibly well-balanced, thin enough to weave in between the ribs, yet forged with strong materials, this blade is rivaled by no other combat dagger and I believe it will serve you well if need be.

*pause*

Of course, allow me to put this addition to your hold order. I believe with that, I have done all I can do for you at this time. I will shortly be in contact with our armorers to ready these delicacies for you and have them delivered to your room within the hour. I deeply enjoyed this tasting with you today and hope that it has been satisfying for you as well.

I thank you on behalf of the Seattle Continental for your patronage and wish you a pleasant stay and nothing but success on your assignment. Goodbye, friend.

Quiet footsteps followed by a thoughtful opening and closing of a door.