Butches on low-dose T, did you ever get nervous about certain changes despite wanting them?
So, I (33NB) recently started low-dose T after a long journey of curiosity, repression, unlearning shame and realising I didn’t want to live my whole life never knowing. It’s felt like a chance to finally stake a claim on my body, especially being short and pear-shaped as I am. I knew going in what I wanted: enough irreversible changes that even when I stopped (because I don’t plan to take it long-term unless I discover I really really want to) there’ll be something that can stay with me no matter what I wear or do.
I’m six days in and already feeling more energetic, which has been great! My libido has returned from the dead! I feel like I’m on a whole adventure!
….but also I’m Nervous????
So, what set the Nervous off is that I’m already noticing the faintest hints of tangible bottom growth. This is both wildly exciting and, for some reason, making me anxious precisely because it’s something I won’t be able to walk back - even though it’s one of the things I was most stoked for! Even though I’m like 95% sure I super duper want it?? It’s just that sense of, ‘whoa, I’m doing something I can’t undo - what if i change my mind?? What if i regret it??’ that’s kicked in.
And I guess I’m here to see if anyone else has had that experience. A lot of the reason I put off pursuing T for a solid 10 years was the spectre of ‘what if I regret it?’ and it would be reassuring to hear that being a little anxious isn’t a sign that I’ve made some kind of grave error. Butches who had this feeling, lend me your wisdom?