This situation is driving me to the brink of insanity.
We met eight years ago, we declared our love then. I've never felt anything like that before or since then. Yet life pulled us apart, things ended but neither was to blame. Our breakup was soul-crushing because of the mutual love and care with which we parted. I never stopped thinking of you as the one that got away. As the one true love.
Through effort on both of our behalf independently, we are talking again and I am happy for it.
I know you have feelings for me, I know you love me.
You have told me, in the ways you act and the things you do. There is nothing to doubt.
I love you too, and I want to grow old together.
But I haven't told you.
I play a stupid and selfish game pretending to be oblivious to your advances.
A game where we both lose. A game that I do not want to play.
But I play it because I am afraid of truly showing myself and being vulnerable with you.
I am scared that you'll be disappointed.
Because deep down I feel that I will not be enough for you.
That you will leave me, again.
You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I am scared.
I want to run away just so you won't leave me. To hide in a hole somewhere and never come out.
I am so afraid of losing you again, I can't go through it.
It's all nonsense, I know.
But please, I beg you. Please stay this time, I love you.