u/GenAI1

I love one person with whole my heart. I never thought I will leave him ever but due to my anxiety and extreme nature it all ended and yes reason was me. He is such genuine soul, everyday I am doing my best to distract myself but still its getting too much. I can message him. I know he will forgive me but how many times should hurt him. I can not do it again, but I can not stay away from him either I loved him truely, but He deserve lot better than me. I dont know how to take it, Every night it became the ritual to cry and cope. I dont want to live anymore, I am just tried of myself.