Did I failed as a kid?
My family's financial condition was not well at the beginning I don't remember anything before 3rd standard like absolute 0 memories it's like my life started after 3rd standard after that too I never lived with my parents because my parents were working very hard and once we became financially good that is when I was in 8th i somewhat started to live with them but till then I never had that emotional connect with them till 12th I was fine but after I moved to hostel it has became hell the family trips i go to are mentally exhausting because they try so much to fill the gap between us but i am just not able to i never laugh in front of them I feel immense guilt of what I am doing to them and it's not like I don't want to change this but it's just not possible for me