u/General-Shoe-6559

31F, 144lbs, 5f3inch, have small kids.
I am severely sleep deprived. I don’t get more than 3-4 hours of broken sleep and it has been like that since my second one was born- 1 y ago.
I started having the headaches. They are located behind my eyes and sides. And they are pulsating, throbbing kind. Yesterday, I started having blurry vision from it. It does happen that I have it, about 5-6 times a week, lasting 4+ hours.

Adding:
I have high menstrual flow, my ferritin did drop from 100+ to 30 in 4 months after I started getting my periods again.
I have environmental allergies, allergic to all trees, grass, dust mites, dogs, cats.
I also got the bruise on my leg(unsure if related) and it’s getting worse not better. I can’t remember I hit myself, but I do have little kids, don’t sleep.
I work 40 h a week. I am on a high protein, low sugar diet to lose weight and I exercise daily.

I do not take any supplements and for my headaches I take nurtec.

Please tell me your opinion on the steps to take.

I (31F) and my husband (42M) have been together for almost a decade. When we started dating, it was a fairytale. It was a passionate, committed, loving relationship. Our sex was incredible and frequent. We could not keep hands off each other. I was unhappy with my living situation and we decided to live together, only a few months after dating. He had his own apartment and there was space for me.
I was living my dream life. I had a person to talk to, someone who gets me, someone who I can spend endless hours with and never get tired of. Only 10 months after starting to date we had to deal with multiple immigration issues for myself and he was my biggest rock. He helped me stay sane, finish all the paperwork and become a resident of the country. A year later we moved into a home that he purchased before he met me. He had a complicated medical history and had multiple surgeries, I was there for him. Supported him fully(not financially, just other ways).
Continues- we decided to start trying for kids, 2.5 years after we started dating, we had a miscarriage. We were both crushed. Our wedding happened just 6 months after, I find out I’m pregnant- we were trying so no surprise.
Well, my pregnancy was complicated, but he was there. He was there during it all, showing gratitude for all I’m going through to make our family happen. Our daughter was born beautiful and healthy and was an uncomplicated birth story. He was struggling to bond with her. He loves her endlessly and wants to be with her. But struggled as he did not understand cues, he was not the one breastfeeding and many things contributed to him not creating the bond he wanted and imagined. His parent passes away after only 5 months PP. He is dealing with grief. He is struggling and starting to cut me off. I understand. Grief is hard and I stay strong and was there for him the ways he needed me. I finally realize due to extreme sleep deprivation, lack of help and family, lack of socialization, I get PPD. I was suicidal, at the rock bottom. Took me about 10 months to just start medication). I blamed him, not out loud, just inside me and the resentment was eating me alive. We were at this point roommates, we never had sex, we barely talked, only about kids. Any issues we had, it would blow up.
After being a 3 months on my meds, I get better. We communicate better, our daughter is finally at the age we can all sleep and get somewhat normal life. We start for the second kid. I get pregnant. I was mistakenly diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy and due to surgery my baby again did not survive. It was very painful and hard on us. Fast forward to few months later; I get again pregnant (we were trying to conceive) and end up having a beautiful healthy baby. And here we go again. Now two kids, still so little. Our baby had severe GI issues, I go on extreme diets to support the baby and continue breastfeeding. Our son is not getting proper dr care due to looking healthy and gaining weight. My husband is somewhat supportive and attentive. Due to extreme stomach issues, our son cannot sleep well. He is awake every 20min to 1 hour. I take majority of waking. My husband gets a promotion and he is now working only nights, sleeps during days and takes OT shifts. I am suffering but he blames me. I did not want to sleep train our child. Our daughter is still attached to me and rejects him. We had sex only once since we conceived. He uses every opportunity to be away from me. Not the kids tho. Just me. Fast forward to now. Our son a toddler, I’m back to work, to my barely making any money job. He resents me for that one. As he believes I got too comfortable with him and don’t feel like I need to contribute as much financially ( I however do work 40h a week). He barely speaks to be; he never touches me, when he wakes up, he looks at me with hatred face. We don’t have dates. We disagree on absolutely everything. When I bring up problems, he reminds me that he is a good dad and makes me food and cleans house and financially supports our family. When I say I feel unloved, he blows up. I can’t talk to him. I don’t want to bring this up to my circle of friends or family. I don’t know what to do.
How can I save my marriage? Can it be saved? I don’t want our kids to grow up without their dad fully present. And I do still love him.

Tl;dr how can a marriage be better after many traumatic events?