AITA for being upset that my mother and sister are missing my graduation to (maybe) put the family dog down?
Hey all. Unsure where my moral compass needs to point me at the moment.
Basically: I (25F) graduate from a prestigious law school on Monday. I’ve been in school for 22 straight years and this is my final degree and biggest accomplishment ever. I only have three immediate family members, just my dad (M55), my mom (F55), and my sister (F21). My sister and I are extremely close.
Last month, when my family was making plans to come up for the graduation ceremony, they told me that my sister wouldn’t be coming because my parents wanted her to watch my family’s elderly dog while they were gone. She agreed with the decision. I was kind of upset but felt bad for being upset. I asked her once if there was really NO way she could come and she said there wasn’t. So I let it go and I’ve just been not thinking about it.
Tonight I called my sister on the way back from a concert some friends took me to. We do this a lot, where if one of us is drunk or high and has a bit of a walk she has to make alone, she calls the other and we talk. I told her a bit about the concert, and she got sort of quiet and asked if I could hear some bad news.
I said yes, and she told me that the family dog had pretty severe muscle weakness today and that they’re worried they’re going to have to put him down soon. It wasn’t clear if she meant like SOON soon, like tomorrow soon, or if it was a “wait and see” soon or what the situation was. My parents are/were supposed to arrive tomorrow, but they’ve decided that only my dad will come and my mom will stay behind to keep an eye on things. They weren’t going to tell me until the morning.
We talked about the situation a bit, both cried a bit at the idea of losing the family dog. After we got off the phone and I could really think, I realized 2/3rds of my family will miss my graduation and that really sucks. I texted my sister and asked her if she could come now that my mom wouldn’t be going, and she said she didn’t want to do that out of fear these will actually be the dog’s last few days.
I feel like an evil person but I’m pretty upset. The idea of walking onstage after all this time with only one person in the crowd there for me is terrible (my grandparents were supposed to come but also pulled out earlier this week). So is the idea of meeting my friends’ families and introducing everyone with only my dad there, especially because I’ve talked so much about how close my sister and I are to all of them and she won’t be there. I just feel like whenever I think about this for the next fifty years I’ll remember how they weren’t there and maybe at least either one of them could have been.
At the same time I am devastated about the dog. I really don’t want to diminish that, but I’m just sad. WIBTA to 1. feel this way about it, to 2. tell other people about the situation, and/or 3. tell my family that I’m really upset by this decision? I just don’t know whether I’m in the right to feel this way, or if I would be to talk about it.