Coparenting with trauma
Hey, so I’m not entirely sure how to start this…me and my daughters dad were together for a few years, during that time he cheated and lied then he would break up with me for being too emotional about it. Then he would promise me another baby if I was to get back with him as he knew all I wanted was another baby, he would then change his mind about it whenever it got to my ovulation week because he wasn’t ready. I was massively insecure within the relationship and he put this down to my mental health and not his actions that lead me to the insecurities. We split for 6 months last year and every time I had to contact him about our daughter I would end up in a state on panic and anxiety. The last time we got back together was for 2 weeks after the 6 month split, I didn’t want to get back with him but I have an inability to say no to him when he’s promising the world. During those 2 weeks I was having panic attacks every day because I was scared he was being unfaithful still (I recently found out I was right but that’s not relevant now).
My issue is every time I have to talk to him I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, I start shaking and more often than not end up having a panic attack. I only need to think about him potentially calling and my whole body reacts, in any other situation I would be able to cut ties and never see him again however our daughter is 4 and I’m going to have to face him a lot for the next 14 years, has anyone experienced this and what plan/structure do you have in place