Is our neighbor neglecting their cat? Are we wrong for wanting to adopt him?
My husband and I are concerned for our neighbor’s black cat, and I’m looking for some opinions on whether we’re being unreasonable or not.
We first encountered him when he started showing up at our house about a month ago. We thought he looked kinda skinny so we gave him some food, and he scarfed it down so fast.. Eventually we found through his microchip that he belonged to a neighbor across the street. The vet contacted them, and they messaged me to get their cat back. He’s an outdoor cat and apparently has food on their back porch, but he kept showing up at our door. Eventually we became comfortable letting him come inside our house, and he’s now a frequent visitor at all hours. We’ve grown really attached to him and sometimes wish we could take him in permanently because we don’t believe he’s getting proper care..
I recently messaged his owner for more info on him. She doesn’t mind him visiting and is happy someone else is looking after him, but also asked if we can let her know when he’s at our place so she doesn’t “panic” (despite her having my number and never contacting me before with concern of where he was). From our interactions she seems like a genuinely nice person, but some things just don’t add up..
- She said he normally doesn’t like strangers and was surprised he’s comfortable with us despite HIM coming up to US very friendly..
- Apparently he has high blood pressure and is on dietary restrictions so she asked us not to feed him regular food. If she’s that concerned about what he eats, why leave him outside where he can eat literally anything or unknowing neighbors can feed him..?
- The biggest thing we’re struggling to understand is that she’s expressed concern about him being outside during October because some people do bad things to black cats around Halloween, yet he still spends a lot of time outdoors..
I asked if she would like for us to keep him safe inside more often during this month and she said “yes please”.
Apparently, she’s dealing with moving back into a rented room so she can bring her TWO cats back inside. He has a brother that doesn’t go far from the backyard. She said she doesn’t like them being outside as much now because they’re getting older, but why leave them outside in the first place when there’s the risk of getting ran over by a car, attacked by a wild animal, or suffering through bad weather conditions? It’s been rainy here a lot lately and winter is also around the corner.. I know leaving them outside could be a temporary thing for now based on what she said, but we still think that’s just messed up.
I really don’t want to keep jumping to conclusions and paint her as a bad owner or accuse her of neglect, so I need outside perspective. Our conversations have been pleasant, and she seems to care at least some about her cats. I also recognize that I don’t know her full circumstances. However, between how skinny he initially appeared, his outdoor lifestyle, and how attached we’ve become to him, I can’t help wondering whether he’d be better off in a different home.
I haven’t asked her about adoption because I don’t want to overstep or make her feel like we’re trying to take her cat away, but it’s something we have considered gently approaching her with at some point.
Are we being unreasonable? Does anything I’ve described sound like potential neglect, or is there not enough info to judge? Would it be inappropriate to ask his owner if she’d ever consider letting us adopt him?
I’m genuinely looking for outside perspectives. We care about this cat and want what’s best for him, but we also want to respect his owner and handle the situation properly.