TW: (misogyny and homophobia)
I’ve been going back and forth on posting on here for a few weeks now and finally decided to bite the bullet. (Using a throwaway account for safety reasons + excuse any mistakes, English isn’t my first language)
I (18F) am a lesbian, I’ve known this all my life and have come to terms with it. College decisions are around the corner and I need the advice of other sapphic women on what to do. Why? Because there’s a very real chance i could be forced into an arranged marriage.
I know that even if it came to it, I would rather lose my family’s love and support if it meant keeping my dignity and happiness. No I can’t run away (at least not until after getting my degree). No I don’t know any other queer people who can help me, so I’m here
Keep in mind, I’ve been *extremely* pampered all my life, so figuring this all out is very stressful
I got full ride engineering scholarships for two colleges, one small uni abroad and another prestigious one in my country. I’ll try to explain to the best of my abilities
If I stay, I get to go to said prestigious university, stay with friends and family, and overall have a good comfortable time.
Problem is, I would have limited freedom, be monitored like crazy, I won’t have experience of living abroad, I’d still have to share a room with two noisy younger siblings (we’re a big family), and I’d still have to deal with my mother’s constant surveillance and obvious favoritism to my siblings
On the other hand. If I go and study abroad, I’d have my freedom and full autonomy, gain so much necessary experience on how to manage living in a different country, I’d actually have some privacy for once in my life, I’d have my own space
Problem? The college is tiny so there’s a very real chance I won’t have many friends. and mainly, I’d have to live with my extremely misogynistic older brother, an Andrew Tate obsessed and self righteous shitty n@zi (like genuinely I’m not even exaggerating), who’d 100% try to force me to cook and clean for him because “that’s a woman’s role” to him.
So yeah, there are so many factors at play and I just want another sapphic’s advice on what I should do since I do plan on leaving after I get my degree. I’m so sorry for the long post, but I needed to mention everything here. I might update with more info if I missed anything, thank you💗💗