I 30 F started dating someone new 34 M a few months ago after getting out of a 10-year relationship last year. The breakup was really hard, and while I know it was the right decision because our career paths/life goals no longer aligned, I still miss my ex sometimes.
One thing I’ve realized about myself is that I struggle with showing affection naturally. I can also come across as too blunt or overly direct when I communicate. In my previous relationship, this caused a lot of conflict during the first couple of years. Eventually I learned how my ex wanted to be loved, and things became really good between us, but it took a lot of trial and error, fights, and emotional exhaustion to get there.
Now I’m scared of repeating the same mistakes in this new relationship. I genuinely want to do better from the beginning, but I also don’t know what the “right” balance is.
The guy I’m seeing is emotionally reserved and doesn’t open up easily. I can’t tell whether I should ask more questions and actively try to get him to share, or give him space and let him open up in his own time.
For people who are more emotionally reserved: what makes you feel safe, comfortable, and at peace in a relationship? And for anyone who’s struggled with being emotionally blunt/distant , how did you learn to show love in a healthier way?
TLDR : I am dating a man who is emotionally reserved and needs advice on making him happy.