Wanting to give the RCPs and DCPs access to me (anonymous egg donor)
Long story short: I donated eggs between 2022 and 2024 at UFC (#949). I didn’t think very hard about the implications for the family or the child that being an anonymous donor would create. I was lost in the sauce of wanting to help people like my friends who were struggling with fertility - it just felt like I was doing a really good thing so I kept doing it. Now that I have learned more I realize that some of my RCPs and DCPs may want to eventually know who I am. I have learned how important it is to the parents and the children to put a face to a donor number and to know more about their genetic heritage. Especially since I have had a health update. I feel it’s important to share my health update with them even though it’s only slightly caused by genetics. I notified the clinic, but I was told that they weren’t going to notify the families - which bugged me.
I am not trying to force anything - not looking to become anyone’s parent or inject myself into anyone’s family, I just know that it’s important that they can find me if they want to find me. I want them to have their privacy and to let them reach out to me when they are ready - but I am not sure how to go about getting the clinic to let the families know that I am available to them if they ever want to reach out. All of my donor contracts had strict rules about anonymity - but that was also the only option that the RCPs and donors had thought that clinic. Of course, the children are still very young, but I am trying to do my best to make myself available to them and their parents so that all the information they need is readily available to them if they choose to pursue a connection or if they simply want more knowledge about who I am.
Here is what I have done:
-23&me
- Donor sibling registry
- family search
I have tried to reach out to the clinic but they are not easy to work with and it might be a dead end. Of course the families are most likely waiting until their kids are older, but I don’t want them to run into too many dead ends if they want to connect one day. Any advice on what else I should do?
Thank you !