r/donorconception

Hey everybody! Just wanted to let the group know that I'll be hosting a DCP retreat from August 28-31st in Bethel, New York.

More info can be found here. Hope to see you there!

Nick

Hi, looking for a recommendation for a fertility clinic with a fresh egg donor program + embryo creation. If you don’t mind sharing your experience (number of eggs retrieved + final number of PGT-A embryos) that would be very helpful and if you had success or not. Also interested in the cost to the clinic. I know PGT-A is extra as are meds but just keep it simple. I can also DM you if you don’t want to share publicly. edit: live in the Northeast but I can travel. Looking for speed and quality. Thank you!

Ive done 5 ER and 5 transfers. No joy! Amh is 0.5 so its probably an egg quality problem. Im 37.

Recently ive been considering using an egg donor but im battling with the loss of my genes if we decide to go ahead. It would be in Spain so i wouldnt have any say in the process. The clinic just matches physical traits as far as i know, height hair colour etc. I would love to hear from anyone who has a biological child and then moved to donor eggs.

📢 Are you pregnant and worried about changes to your sex life?

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Couples in both conditions will also complete 5 surveys—the initial survey, then at 32-weeks pregnant, and 4-, 8-, and 12-month postpartum—that gather information about your relationship, your pregnancy experience, and your child. Couples in the Waitlist condition will receive access to the full STORK program after the study period is over.

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💌 For more information or to participate in the STORK RCT study email us at stork@psych.ubc.ca OR fill out our contact form from this link: https://Qualtrics.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3gxGJAEWqt8Rh2u

Looking for advice from others in open/known donor situations because my wife and I are really torn on how to handle something.

We had our son in March 2025 through an open donor arrangement. He was responsive up until he congratulated us for our pregnancy, but never responded to the birth or any subsequent updates of our son. Completely ghosted after it was real.

Recently, I made my son an Ancestry family tree. Unexpectedly, the donor’s father found the tree and messaged me (now 10 days ago) very kindly saying he noticed a grandmother of his wife on my tree and wanted to compare trees to find more relatives she may not have on hers.

Here’s the dilemma:

- We have no idea whether our donor ever told his family about our son. We’re assuming he didn’t.
- We don’t want to blindside or out him if he intended to tell them himself someday. 
- We would love our son to have a relationship with his bio father if that’s what he wants someday and don’t want to impact that.
- If we DO tell the donor and he says “no, don’t respond. I’ll talk to them” how are we supposed to feel confident that’s happening and not have that door close?
- We also don’t want to lose what could potentially be a meaningful biological family connection for our son.

Would you:

1. Respond directly to the donor’s father?
2. Reach out to the donor first as a heads up?
3. Keep things vague at first?
4. Open the tree/share context?

Long story short: I donated eggs between 2022 and 2024 at UFC (#949). I didn’t think very hard about the implications for the family or the child that being an anonymous donor would create. I was lost in the sauce of wanting to help people like my friends who were struggling with fertility - it just felt like I was doing a really good thing so I kept doing it. Now that I have learned more I realize that some of my RCPs and DCPs may want to eventually know who I am. I have learned how important it is to the parents and the children to put a face to a donor number and to know more about their genetic heritage. Especially since I have had a health update. I feel it’s important to share my health update with them even though it’s only slightly caused by genetics. I notified the clinic, but I was told that they weren’t going to notify the families - which bugged me.

I am not trying to force anything - not looking to become anyone’s parent or inject myself into anyone’s family, I just know that it’s important that they can find me if they want to find me. I want them to have their privacy and to let them reach out to me when they are ready - but I am not sure how to go about getting the clinic to let the families know that I am available to them if they ever want to reach out. All of my donor contracts had strict rules about anonymity - but that was also the only option that the RCPs and donors had thought that clinic. Of course, the children are still very young, but I am trying to do my best to make myself available to them and their parents so that all the information they need is readily available to them if they choose to pursue a connection or if they simply want more knowledge about who I am.

Here is what I have done:
-23&me
- Donor sibling registry
- family search

I have tried to reach out to the clinic but they are not easy to work with and it might be a dead end. Of course the families are most likely waiting until their kids are older, but I don’t want them to run into too many dead ends if they want to connect one day. Any advice on what else I should do?

Thank you !

After 8 years, I am finely ready to share my journey as a heterosexual couple experiencing infertility (I felt extremely alone in my experience). First I would like to say Klienfelters Syndrome is a spectrum,and my husbund has characteristics, but only some. This is why he wasn't diagnosed until trying for kids.

My husband and I met in high school, and we both moved to a small town within a year of each other (we live in Canada). He was always skinny, and on the taller side, he still is at 32. I was 17 when we started dating. He was 18, and we married in 2016 in our 20's. After we got married, we bought a house, got our dog, and started to try for a baby. I stopped birth control and tracked cycles. It is worth mentioning that my husband is my 3rd relationship, the first two also being in high school before I started dating my husband. I didn't really know how the male body was supposed to look, but I knew his testicles were on the smaller side. Like almond still in the shell size. After 2 years and 1 false positive test, we were at a loss. I thought something was wrong with me. All the stories I heard in my younger life were women having fertility issues for multiple reasons. 2 weeks before my appointment to get checked out, my husband went for varicose veins, causing pain in his manhood. The doctor had noted the small testicles and asked if my husband had any concerns about it. He told the doctor we have been trying for 2 years to have a baby, and nothing. The doctor said in the UK during his stay there, he saw 1 case of Klienfelters (chromosomes XXY in men instead of XY), and my husband has similar traits. So this started the cycle of my husband getting a sperm count and an appointment with a geneticist. The first sperm count was 0. I could not believe it. It felt like a dagger. I thought maybe it could be low, but zero???? They asked him to sustain from any sexual activity for 2 weeks, then tested again. Still zero. I no longer needed my tests. This was it. This was the issue. We still had the genetics test, so we went to the city, and he got blood work. The next thing we did was attend the results together. My husband had Klienfelters Syndrome. We cried together, and he felt that he couldn't provide the life we had dreamed. The doctor (bless him) told us we could have a baby still. There are donors available, and they recommended us to a fertility clinic. I still had to undergo an HSG test (fertility X-ray of the uturus using some kind of dye) and ultra sounds. After I was cleared, my husband and I chose a donor from the United States. It is illegal to sell any body parts in Canada, so it was that or the UK. The donor we found provided photos of him as a baby, teen, and adult. We felt it was a good choice to do open donor as well because we planned on (and have been) transparent with our kid. After we picked one, we got it shipped to our fertility clinic, and began tracking my cycle. I watched a lot of lesbians on youtube going through fertility because it seemed like no one else's husband's had this, or other men had detected it at a younger age. My husband was 23 when he was diagnosed. I felt alone in our journey. There were no support groups, or any similar situations I could look to. I got inseminated March 2018, and we had our child December 2019. It was a hard journey, but I am forever thankful to the doctor that helped us create our family. My hope is to put this story out there to help anyone else who's husband is struggling with fertility. If you want a family, it is still possible, and you are not alone ♥️