Feeling… I don’t even know.
am a 44/f SAHM. I am married for 3 years, but have been with my husband for 24years. We have a son 16) together, and we raised his 27y daughter. She was 4 when we got together. We also have full legal custody of our daughter’s 1yo son and have been raising him since he was 4 months old……So yesterday I found out that my husband and my BEST FRIEND since I was 9yo carried on a sexual relationship right after I gave birth to our son. Back then (2010) one of my husbands friends actually told me they were sleeping together, but they both denied it when I asked and even though my gut told me differently, I didn’t want to believe they would be that grimy to me. I have no idea how to process how I’m feeling. Devastated doesn’t even begin to cover it. I feel sick constantly, and literally wish I could erase the fact that I now know. As pathetic as it sounds I love my husband beyond measure and honestly don’t want to leave him. I guess that’s all. Any advice, support or prayers would be greatly appreciated b