Does it ever get easier? I’m drowning as a new mom.
I’m a first time mom to a 13 month old. I’m genuinely so overstimulated most of the time and it’s been this way since her birth. The noise just absolutely kills me, between whining, crying, and now tantrums.
All the standard advice like “use earplugs” or “you just need more support!” Is well meaning but unrealistic. Earplugs don’t work I can still hear her. More support yes I agree it would be lovely if we all still lived in villages and had the whole village at our doorstep all the time but most of us don’t have that.
I was laid off from my job at Meta 6 months ago (yes AI took my job) and my husband and I decided I’d stay home with the baby for now. It’s what we both chose because of the cost of childcare and the job market for tech right now. So now I’m pivoting to starting a business which is exciting but stressful to do with a young child.
I genuinely struggle most days with my daughter. She’s by all accounts a happy, chill little baby, never colicky, just normal stuff, but I swear I’m always right on the edge of a mental breakdown. I have crash outs daily. I mean seriously daily.
I genuinely cannot seem to keep my cool when she’s whining and crying so much, like during fits of teething, or when she’s demanding to nurse, or when she just is whining for no apparent reason. I punched the wall twice today in front of her because I truly just can’t cope.
I’ve tried postpartum depression meds (zurzivae), I’ve tried asking for help, I’ve tried fucking box breathing, reading, hobbies, talking to friends or chatbots even. Nothing takes the edge off how much she annoys me when she whines all the time. Yes I know it’s how they communicate but knowing that fact doesn’t make the experience any easier.
I feel awful saying this. But it really just keeps getting harder, and she gets more and more annoying, and more difficult to cope with. Well meaning people tell me it gets easier but it just keeps getting harder.
My husband is at work 10-12 hours a day. My parents and in laws help when they can but it’s complicated. Paid help isn’t doable on one income. I just don’t know how anyone does it.
Tonight I was trying to give her Motrin cuz her molars are coming in and she just kept screaming at the top of her lungs and spitting out the Motrin and pulling at my nipples to nurse.
She was up at 5 am and refused to go to bed at her usual time of 630 pm, so I spent from 630-815 trying to get her down, punched the wall twice during this time, and burst into tears once I was finally alone.
If you read this far, thanks.