What did I do to deserve this? i mean i kind of understand roughly whats happened but that doesnt make it any easier. okay so my needs werent met as a child, im now im basically fucked for life. is that it?
I've been diagnosed quite recently, but I've suspected for a while. There's so much stigma it's insane. I can't talk about this disorder with anyone because as soon as the word BPD exits my mouth I'm met with cold indifference. It frustrates me because it's something I deal with and manage daily but I'm just not allowed to talk about it.
I'm now afraid to get into a relationship with someone, even though that's something I really want, I'm afraid of hurting people.
I have self awareness and I'm able to take accountability for my actions but that still doesn't stop the emotional dysregulation because when I'm in that state it's like I'm a completely different person.
So I'm left in this place where I know I've fucked up, I feel bad about it, and there's nothing I can do to make it better.
And then you've got people on that subreddit spewing hatred and making generalisations.
I just want to be happy and live a normal life just like everyone else. It's not fair to lump everyone into the same group like that when theres many BPD who are trying their hardest. I don't know how reddit hasn't taken that place down for hate speech yet.