u/Glad-Rock-3341

Asalamu Alaikum everyone. I don’t usually post things like this, but I’ve been feeling really discouraged lately and wondering if there are other revert women here who can relate.

Before Islam, meeting people and forming connections felt so much easier. Since becoming Muslim, the marriage process has felt extremely difficult and isolating at times. I’m a revert, divorced, and have no kids, but it still feels like those labels alone make a lot of Muslim men immediately write me off. Sometimes it feels like no matter how much growth, sincerity, or effort you put into your deen and character, your past still follows you.

And statistically, the pool already feels so small. The Muslim population in the US is only around a few million people total, then about half are women, then you narrow it down by age, compatibility, practicing level, location, willingness to marry a revert/divorced woman, etc. By the time you get to eligible men in your actual city/state, it feels like the pool becomes tiny.

I know rizq and marriage are from Allah, and I’m trying to stay hopeful and trust His timing, but some days it’s hard not to feel discouraged or undesirable. Especially when you constantly hear conversations around “never married only,” culture preferences, family pressure, or assumptions about divorced women.

I guess I just wanted to ask if there are other divorced reverts here who’ve had similar experiences, and how you navigated it emotionally and spiritually without becoming bitter or losing hope. Because it’s rough out here lol.

Salam everyone,

I’m posting from an account I dont really use because this is a bit personal, but I’ve been feeling stuck and wanted to hear from others who might relate.

I’m a Muslim revert living in the Midwest U.S. There’s a decent Muslim population here in my city, but it still feels really hard to actually meet someone with marriage in mind. I’m in my early 30s, female, and I’m trying to go about things the halal way with the intention of marriage.

I’ve been finding myself getting a bit discouraged lately. I trust in Allah’s plan, but I’d be lying if I said I don’t sometimes feel lonely or sad about where I’m at.

Before I became Muslim, it actually felt easier to meet people and have options, but now I’m trying to be more intentional and careful about how I approach things. The most important things are deen and character, someone practicing, stable, and with a good career. I do have preferences when it comes to compatibility as well, but faith and seriousness are the priority.

I’ve tried Muslim dating apps like Muzz for a short time, but it didn’t feel right for me. It felt too much like regular dating apps with a “Muslim label” on top, and I wasn’t comfortable with it.

So I guess I’m just wondering, how are other reverts, or even born Muslims, actually meeting their spouses in a halal way in the U.S. these days? Especially those of you who didn’t rely on apps?

Any advice would help.... I feel like I’m trying to stay patient and trust the process, but I’m also struggling with hope sometimes.