Another shorty today, but be thankful for the crumbs 😉

28 [M4F] #Toronto #Halton looking for a very specific person

>Me:
a head taller than you
handsome roman look
take very good care of myself
health/fitness obsessed
shallow
workaholic
stable genius
taken
emotionally unavailable (think patrick bateman)

>You:
hot
attractive
desirable physique
hot
good conversationalist
loves to yap

>I am also accepting haters, send me your hateful messages

>One liners go in the trash (includes haters AND hotties put some effort in). Exceptions for those who followed #1 through 4 closely

As one of my readers pointed out, he compares himself to a known psycho. Fictional, yes, but I what kind of AP is he trying to attract. If this very specific person does exist, I hope she has access to a good therapist.

45 [M4F] #DMV #VA - Looking for a fuck buddy.

>**First date:** We have a nice lunch then afterwards, if we click, I'll feed you dessert. You unzip my pants and take my cock down your mouth and I'll melt your brain as I breed your throat.

>**Second date:** We go to your place or split a room and you'll be chest down ass up. I'll be inside of you balls deep fucking hard rearranging your insides.

>**Me:** I'm a dirty blonde (redhead, not a ginger, there's a difference. I have a soul) with a touch of grey. I have blue eyes to complete the set. I'm 6 feet tall and around 230 lbs. I also have several tattoos. War stamps I picked up while in the military. And I'm very left leaning, politically, get your mind out of the gutter.

>**You:** Please have daytime availability, and live in the Northern Virginia area. I'm not expecting you to be an athlete, but be familiar with a gym.

>So if you're in need of a good fucking please feel free to send me a DM. And please give me an introduction simply saying "hi" isn't going to cut it. And no one day accounts with no karma.

This fuckin' guy again. Doesn't mention his vasectomy this time and he wants to breed your throat. I'm betting he didn't do so well in health class.

31 [M4F] #Online. I’ve got bad news for you. Three times, actually. And good news - once.

>I’m about to break unwritten rule #1 of this place, which states: You entertain me with questions, I reply with charming stories from my life, and we don’t call it a one-way street until one of us gets bored.

>I’m not looking for those easy dopamine strokes with zero investment. If you’ve never been in a conversation where you had to perform emotional CPR to keep it alive past the third exchange? Well, I’ve got bad news for you - chances are, it was the other person doing it.

>But if you’re still here, you’re probably tired of screaming into the void too.

>I’m about to break unwritten rule #2 of this place, which states: You must choose your side. Either you’re Team Spark - and everyone will assume you’re the type who fills awkward silences with closeup shots of your peen and disappears as soon as post-nut clarity hits. Or you’re in the noble Order of Slow Burn - then place your hands for the other person to see and wait until three months of messaging finally lead to something akin to chemistry. There is no third option.

>But what if I want to have my cake and eat it too? Substance, meaning, exploration, reciprocity - but with the kind of anticipation that drives crazy from the very first days. A flame that burns slowly because we’re adding the logs reasonably, but the wood itself is bone-dry. If you’ve never watched your school crush clumsily strike stone against stone over dry grass, muttering “c’mon c’mon” with growing embarrassment in a desperate attempt to light a campfire? Well, I’ve got bad news for you - you’ve never felt the relief of someone showing up at that exact moment with a box of matches.

>“Okay, sounds good,” you’ll admit. “But who’s speaking?”

>Well, I come with a set of disclaimers:
• I look sweet. That’s a design flaw, not a promise.
• Dominant, but not loud or performative. I don’t raise my voice - I make you want to lower yours.
• My dry humour has been classified as a controlled substance in several jurisdictions.
• Married, one child, European timezone. All three are real, none are required to match, and I won’t make you my therapist about any of them.

>Visually I’m the type your Sunday school teacher warned you about, but only after I complimented her casserole at the dinner she’d invited me to. Medium-length chestnut hair, prominent jawline, proportioned features; a soft smile and green-grey eyes that volunteer at a shelter, and also spark something you’ll be embarrassed to explain.

>Physically - fit enough that you’ll rethink your morals and maybe your plans for the evening. I’m well-built not because I’m vain, but because I refuse to be outrun or pushed away from the ball by a Sunday league striker. ~6’2” athletic frame that comes from football - the true football, where you actually kick the ball with your foot instead of carrying it in hands - and the kind of gym sessions where I’m not photographing myself.

>I spend my days in a tech giant, where I’m paid for filling budgets, rather than draining them. After hours - off the pitch and out of the gym - you might find me sharing my unpopular opinion about modern politics, lecturing on a favourite dead empire, arguing about the best Scorsese ending or getting nostalgic about a random Champions League final. But you don’t have to have your own opinion on any of the above - just come with the same wit you’d bring to a bar debate, and we’ll get along famously.

>Well, I’ve got bad news for you - I already own a real estate in your head.

>The good news I promised? The spacious, double-storey apartment inside my brain is still for sale.

Sorry if you read all that...which I think was written at the equivalent level of "shitty Twilight fanfic that becomes its own book series".

40 [M4F] Toronto - attached for attached, a secret affair that leads to you getting pregnant

>Hii girls! I am an attached guy who is looking for someone also attached that might be interested in having a secret affair. Something hot on the side that leads to you getting pregnant. I'd love to knock you up behind your man's back. You can tell him the baby is his, if you want.

>I am white, turning 41 later this month, fit, about 5'8", cute, with a decent sized cock. Ready to swap pics anytime. Very kind, sweet, and gentle. Located in North York, in the area of Sheppard West subway station.

>You are in your 20s or 30s (18 or 19 is fine too), fairly good looking, fit, and the idea of getting pregnant by a different guy other than your BF/fiancé/husband really turns you on! But it's more about chemistry than fitting a checklist perfectly.

>Maybe we can even go on some fun dates when we have some time away from our partners? We can also compare notes, you can tell me how my dick compares to your man's and I can tell you how your pussy compares to my girl's. One of my fantasies right now is doing you in your own bed where you and your man usually have sex/sleep together. Wouldn't that be pretty fun and exciting to try to pull off? Of course we can try other things too. I like public play, shower sex, sex on a balcony, cuddling, holding hands, kissing, eating pussy, and much more.

>When you reach out, can you please mention your age, physical description, and approximate location? Looking forward to hearing from some amazing women!

>Happy searching 😄

This guy's ads are all over the Toronto subs, and each one is worse than the last, but this one fits the recent trend of men looking to "breed" strangers. He also has a remote-controlled Lush vibrator that he'd love to use on you...sounds hygienic!

...and that's it for this week. Until next time, stay adulterous!

67 [M4F] #Long Island/ NYC - Let this older married male connect with your Shadow

>Per Jungian theory, the Shadow consists of all the traits, impulses, and desires that a person deems unacceptable and represses into the unconscious. Because sexuality is often a source of cultural, social, and personal shame, it frequently becomes a primary resident of the shadow

>My bedroom is dead because my wife due to a bad neck, nerve issues etc. has stopped but has given me permission to meet, provided I am discreet. I am very sexual and need a sex life and hopefully one partner even if it's not my spouse.

>I admit that I sometimes browse through these posts in search of a local, intelligent woman who appears to want to relinquish control to a dominant guy and start a sexual relationship with and older white male. Those posts are few and far between, so Ive decided to focus some energy on research as to why that is. I'm well educated with three college degrees and always desire to find out what makes things tick. I admit that, too. So, back to what I was saying, I am only interested in meeting a women for a casual sexual relationship.

>What follows will only focus on those lovely forms of human beings. The truth is, there's something about modern life that actually leeches the sex out of relationships. To understand this fully, you first have to delve deeper into the nature of sex: It isn't just a physical act; it's about passion--that hungry excitement you feel inside toward someone. I have discovered that our society has come to the point where women’s lives are centered around "control". They have to be in control of too many things, all the time, 24x7, in fact.

>Their jobs, their children, their children's activities, school shopping (happening right now), running a household to name a few. To feel passion, you have to let go of control--and that's where the problem lies. Most of modern life requires the opposite of letting go; it's about trying to control things: You have to find the right partner; your kids have to behave right and be admitted to the right schools; you have to find a house in the right neighborhood, take the right vacations, even drive the right car. All of this requires a lot of money, which means you also need to have the right job and the right connections. The list goes on and on.

>And, I could go on and on...

>Affairs as a Shadow Expression. Infidelity is frequently seen as a way of acting out suppressed desires or "unmet needs" that an individual cannot acknowledge within their conscious identity or primary relationship. : The Shadow thrives in secrecy. Affairs "in the shadows" allow individuals to feel "alive and renewed" because they are embodying a persona they feel is unattainable in their regular lives Often, the attraction to a third party is a projection of the individual's own repressed qualities. They aren't necessarily in love with the person, but with the "unresolved sexual tension, unpredictability, and erotic power" that the person.

>I am willing to elaborate further with a local, intelligent woman who wants to relinquish some
control, let her wild side loose and have fun with me. Let me connect with your Shadow...

>As long as this post is up, I am still seeking the one woman who wants to introduce me to her
Shadow. Any robot replies will be deleted as I seek an intelligent woman....:)

>Who am I? I am white, married, educated , 6, 210, clean shaven, graying black hair, wide open sexually but take charge. I fully respect limits but do not drink or smoker. My cock is much thicker than average, cut, nice size, shaved balls and I easily get it up and last, plus can get it up 3X. I am also very oral and will give you as much oral as you crave. I am totally straight and sex with me can be vanilla if you want but if you are wide open I am very very kinky and creative too.

>I am on Li where I can host but at a motel or travel into Manhattan or Queens is you can host or we can figure something else out. Weekdays or weekends during the day work best but late afternoons can work too with planning.

Grandpa's back, and he's put his professor/psychologist/psychiatrist hat on. Anyone looking to let his Jung into your Freud? I know he doesn't mention it, but don't forget his mushroom head!

67 [M4F] #Long Island/ NYC - You dress up to be noticed teetering at times on indecent exposure but you love to tease and show off your body while you're still younger. Plus it makes your pussy soaked and nipple rock hard knowing you are being started at many times.

>You've very attractive and want to give yourself up to a much older take charge tall in shape white male. With warm weather now upon us, you wear shorts to stores, to parks and other places because you want men to notice your body, tits and legs. The shorts are the ones that barely qualify as legal . When you wear a white crop top, because you intentionally wear a size too small when you go braless, your nipples clearly poke through. Men stare from the front and back. From behind you look amazing. You know men want your body and you're normally quite wet when you go out dressed like this . At times with no underwear you shorts are barely covering your private parts at times. 

>You're reading this post because you know you're only good for one thing, which is to service a significantly older take charge older white male. If that is you, then meet me at a Long Island motel or on in Queens (or also invite me over to your place and if your significant other can watch but that is your call). Let me use your body as my playground for several hours at a motel with ceiling mirrors. 

>I'm assuming you're a bit submissive and get what this is about. I will respect limits, not hurt you but use your holes as I want. At my age I can go 3 rounds and it stays up a long time. My cock is much thicker than average, cut, groomed, mushroom head and long lasting too. I have first class oral skills and like to edge too. You'll be begging to cum when I tease you and when you cum it will be explosive each time and your cunt will be soaked. So will the sheets and the room will have the scent of your juices. Just think of the buildup when you cannot touch yourself as I slow down with my tongue to get you so close. While your legs are shaking, nipples erect, your juices flowing but you have no control until I decide to let you climax. How about multiple times this way? 

>I am white,6' tall, 210, dad body, good shape, educated, non smoker, clean shaven, still have most of my graying black hair.

>I am flexible where I can meet on LI unless you can host. Or if you are in NYC I can travel there too,

Hopefully this won't turn into another all-Grandpa issue, but I make no promises. Also, I love his versatility of using both "private parts" and "cunt" in the same post...truly a masterclass in writing an ad.

52 [M4F] #Portland OR - If You are Tired of Boys…

>52. Married. Portland.

>I keep my world tight. Business, travel, family, writing. I’m not here to fill time or chase attention and I don’t need this. That’s exactly why it works when I decide it’s worth it.

>What I am open to is one younger woman who wants something more refined than the usual mess. Someone who is curious, self-aware, and understands the difference between being entertained and being chosen.

>Weekdays only. Discreet, consistent, intentional.

>I lead by default. Calm, direct and very much in control of my time and environment. I don’t negotiate that dynamic but I do take responsibility for it. If you like structure, guidance, and knowing exactly where you stand, you’ll feel it immediately.

>This isn’t about chaos or playing games. It’s about stepping into something elevated. Better conversations. Better experiences. Better energy.

>I appreciate ambition, femininity, and a willingness to be taught without ego getting in the way. In return, I bring patience, experience and a level of attention that men your age don’t even understand yet.

>If this resonates, introduce yourself like it matters.

>Most won’t. And that’s the point.

If I told you this guy also posted "watch of the day" pictures in various expensive wristwatch subs would you believe me?

45 [M4F] #DMV #VA - looking for a fuck buddy.

>The title says it all. But I'm looking for a lady friend that I can mount fuck and cum with during daytime hours. I do give off strong DILF energy that's in the need to breed a lady, I am vasectomy safe and checked and currently I'm only sexually active with my wife.

>I'm a dirty blonde (redhead), blue eyes, 6 feet tall and around 230lbs. I also have several tattoos; war stamps I picked up while in the military. I'm also very left wing on the political spectrum. I also have NSFW photos in my history and I'm willing to share a face pic.

>If you're a lady with a DILF kink, in her early 30s to early 50s familiar with a gym and can host or willing to split a room and wants her insides rearranged and fucked hard please feel free to send me a message. Let's grab lunch and see if we click.

Usually they're just looking for a free sex worker, but now they want a free sex worker who also hosts...I wish I had this guy's confidence!

33m , m4f,👮🏽‍♂️, if you are a married woman in healthcare.. let’s create a bond

>I’ll keep it short and simple. Just a married man with one little one. Looking to have a casual conversation with someone special.

>You don’t have to be in healthcare, you can be in any field of work. I’d enjoy hearing your life stories and I’ll happily share mine. I welcome all walks of life.

>I’m laid back but not boring, just let’s break the ice and we’ll have a good time.

>Feel free to message me.

Cop looking for a woman in healthcare. But also you don't have to be in healthcare. Just be a woman.

...and that's it for this week, since I'm done slogging through more of the same old same old. Until next time, whenever that may be, stay adulterous!