I don’t know if I believe in Christianity anymore.
I have to be so honest right now. I have been feeling this way for a long time. I grew up Christian. I went to a non-denominational church. I was very involved and loved what I believed in. I felt connected. Then I got married and took a couple years to become Catholic. I married a Catholic. But through that process I felt like something was wrong. I started questioning everything. These classes taught me so much but I started feeling like all of it wasn’t me. I was brought up as a Christian so of course I was going to believe what I knew. It was comfortable. Jesus was a man. And he rose again. Or so they say. He was the son of God. So many people have said that. I didn’t see him perform miracles. Maybe people claimed this. They so believed he was the son of God just like many of these cults. I’m sorry but I don’t know if I do. This is what I believe. There are so many different religions. Thousands. We all do not know until we are dead. And that is the truth. I am very spiritual. I believe when we die our loved ones stay with us for a while. I believe they have the freedom to come and go. I believe that maybe there’s a chance we can come back to live again if we choose or if God our creator chooses for us to come back. I still very much believe in God. I believe the Christian Bible was written by men for men. Based on values those men had long ago. I feel bad that I am going against everything I’m supposed to believe. Because it hurts the people I love the most. But this is how I feel.