How do you deal with emotional hunger? (Advice)
Hello brothers and sisters, i don't usually write posts on reddit but i felt like i really needed to make this one. Also english is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes. I know some people will think i'm inventing this but i promise i'm not, and i beg anyone who found a way to deal with this to give me some advice.
I (17M) write this hoping i can get some advice from christians who learned how to deal with it in a healthy way. For context i have prayed and asked God for a wife, letting it clear that i would wait all the time i need and do everything he wants me to before meeting her. I understand marriage very serious and both need to be ready, so i'm willing to wait a lot of time 'till God decides we're both ready and we finally meet. I know this won't happen in the next years because i'll be a teen/young adult and i doubt i'll be ready to acomplish all obligations for a husband, in other words, i'm not in a rush.
I also choose to never have a girlfriend because of my beliefs and some passages like Matthew 6:33 and Isaiah 60:22. I can deal with lust just fine and i'm very happy about that, i believe for anyone my age lust would be the greatest problem but i managed to stay far, far away from it. My problem now is emotional hunger.
I have this problem for some years now, but since some months ago it has gotten much, MUCH worse. I have friends, i take care of my health and my appearance, but i still feel so alone. Not just lonely, as i said i have this problem for years, and since the start of 2026 sometimes i feel physical pain because of that. Like, being alone in my room at night with no one to talk to except my parents can make me feel physical pain in my chest, shoulders and back. I did some research on this topic and found out it's not that uncommon, but no one seem to talk about it. I know a girlfriend won't solve this problem, at best she'll make me feel less lonely but if she is not from God the relationship will end sooner or later and i'll probably feel even worse.
But my teenage brain keeps trying to make me find a girl. I swear, my desire for a girlfriend comes 95% from this terrible pain and feeling of loneliness and 5% or even less from lust. I just want this to end. I tried to attend to more clubs at school, to make martial arts, to talk more with my parents but it just won't go away. I feel so bad and it feels like worms are eating my heart and chest from inside out and it just gets worse as time goes on. I asked God to take this away from me, to help me win this fight but i see no response from his side. And the worst part is that it only goes away when i look at porn. I have no idea why, maybe my brain thinks "naked woman, we're probably very intimate of her, so there is no reason to feel alone if we have this kind of intimacy". But it always comes back.
I don't have a lot more to say, i just need help. I feel like i could abandon God for this feeling to stop. I could do almost anything for this aching to stop, because the only escape i have is porn, wich is also a problem but will be easier to deal with after i'm done with this loneliness. I don't want to disobey God more than i already do but it just gets harder and harder each day and i just can't stop imagining myself being happy with someone without caring about God or this terrible pain. I never cried because of it but it sure won't take long for me to do so. It's a bit hard to explain for someone that doesn't know how it feels like but everyone who do surely will get what i'm trying to say.
Sorry for the long post, but i need advice and to get it out of my chest. Any help will be greatly appreciated and never forget, Jesus loves you.