Breaking husbands heart yet again
I’m going through my 5th loss with my partner, a mmc at 6 weeks. I have an 10 year old from a prior relationship, and my husband and I have suffered a 2nd trimester TFMR, 6 week mc, chemical, 5 rounds of IVF producing 40+ eggs but only 2 embryos and 1 failed FET. I haven’t been back to the doctor, but had one day of weird cramping a few days ago and all of my symptoms are just… no longer there. When you’ve been pregnant so many times you just KNOW. I’m hoping I can pass it at home as there’s a lot of medical intervention related PTSD.
We have one untested embryo on ice and this was a spontaneous conception between treatment. It is supposed to be our miracle. I have broken my husband’s heart so many times I just don’t know how to tell him it’s happening again. He’s been so happy… floating even! Smiling and singing to himself. I know I’m about to ruin his life yet again and I don’t know how we will survive it. How do I do this?
How cruel that we as women have to bear not only the physical burden of pregnancy, fertility treatment and loss, but also the emotional weight of knowing first and having to inform our partners.