I’m too nervous for surgery
As you can see from the title, I’m very nervous about my surgery in two days. I have severe health anxiety and OCD, so I’ve been overthinking everything about going under anesthesia and not having control over my body, and wondering what that would feel like. I keep imagining myself fighting against the anesthesia, the visual of being cut open, or my stitches somehow popping open afterward.
I’m worried that I could die or even get buried alive, lol. I’m also scared of complications like necrosis and of seeing my body look wounded during recovery. On top of that, I worry about how the doctors and nurses will perceive me because I have a lot of pimples and I’m chubby.
I’m just extremely anxious and feel like I can’t handle it. Part of me wants to reschedule the surgery because I feel like I rushed into it. I wanted to lose weight before surgery, but I didn’t. My doctor never said I had to, but it was something I personally wanted to do. My boobs are quite large so I know I need to remove them eventually,but I’m honestly really scared and don’t know what to do. I’m sorry I’m so dramatic.