I've been renting my own apartment for almost two months now and absolutely love having my own space. However, I keep getting cockroaches and it's getting to the point where I don't even want to be in my apartment anymore.
I know it sounds dramatic, but I genuinely am so deathly afraid of these things. I saw one today while watching tv and had a full blown panic attack. I started hysterically sobbing and gasping for breath as I watched it scuttle around my floor. I finally gained the courage to grab Raid and a shoe and killed it, but now it's just lying near my lamp because I cannot muster the strength to pick it up and flush it/throw it away. This has happened numerous times and I don't know what to do to make this better.
I feel like I've done everything. I bought home defense spray and sprayed my entire apartment. I have drain covers for my shower and sinks. I keep my apartment spotless and never have food out.
I don't know what to do. I get like 3 every few days. They're always huge. I feel embarrassed that this fear is to such an intense level, and I thought that through exposure I'd get over it, but it's just getting worse. I am constantly paranoid and feel like there's something crawling on me. I have a hard time relaxing or sleeping. I know they're harmless but something about them makes me so terrified. Is anyone else like this?