r/LivingAlone

I’m 33 years old and I live alone in a small town in France. This is actually the first year of my life that I have truly lived alone.

My story is complicated, so I’ll try to summarize it.

For many years, I had to take care of other people and deal with a very difficult family situation. My relationship with my brother has been extremely damaging for about twenty years, and for a long time I was basically forced into living with him. I also lost my mother, and after her death, a lot of family conflicts happened. Eventually, I cut contact with most of my family.

A lot of friendships also disappeared or ended badly. Many people who were around when my mother was alive simply stopped talking to me afterwards.

Today, I have very few people left in my life. There is really only one person I feel I can somewhat rely on. She is a lovely woman I met about three years ago, and she is over 70 years old. She has been incredibly kind to me, but obviously she cannot take care of everything.

Since around 2015, I have basically had to manage most things on my own.

I also have significant health problems.

I have an eye disease that requires heavy medical treatments, but one of my biggest current problems is swallowing.

For several years, I have suffered from severe swallowing difficulties and phagophobia. Eating and drinking do not feel automatic or normal to me anymore. Sometimes even swallowing liquids is difficult, and meals can become extremely stressful and exhausting.

Over time, this problem became much worse.

I became unable to eat normally and could no longer take in enough food. I lost a significant amount of weight, became physically very weak, and eventually had to be hospitalized because my nutritional situation had become too serious.

Because I still cannot eat enough normally, I now have a PICC line and receive nutritional support through it.

So when I came home from hospital, I was not simply “recovering from a hospital stay.” I came home still underweight, exhausted, struggling to eat and drink, and with a PICC line that I have to protect.

And I came home completely alone.

Since then, everyday life has become incredibly difficult.

I don’t have a car. Public transportation exists where I live, but it is limited. I also live upstairs, so even basic things like bringing groceries home, carrying packages, opening doors, going up and down the stairs, dealing with appointments, medications, nurses, medical suppliers and paperwork can become exhausting.

And because of the PICC line, I am supposed to be careful with my arm.

The problem is that I am alone.

There is nobody here to carry things for me or do everyday tasks. Sometimes I have to use the arm more than I should, and my PICC line has already bled several times. It has been checked by medical staff and the dressing has been changed several times, but everyday life still requires me to use that arm.

On top of all of this, my apartment is causing major problems.

It is a very small apartment that I found urgently because I received almost no help finding housing and had to manage everything myself.

My kitchen sink is currently unusable because of plumbing problems, so I cannot properly wash dishes.

My boiler also has problems and has been leaking dirty/grey water, so right now I am basically living with cold water.

My apartment is also very cluttered because I came back from hospital already exhausted, physically weak and unable to manage everything at once.

I have tried to get home help, but even getting someone to come and help clean can take weeks just to receive a quote and organize everything.

I have contacted associations, social services and other organizations. I have written letters. I am also trying to find another apartment because I honestly don’t think I can continue living like this.

But finding decent housing in France right now is extremely difficult, especially with a low income.

I am currently not working and I live on a disability allowance, so my financial situation is limited too.

I think what shocked me the most was how hard life became after leaving the hospital.

In the hospital, people are around you.

Then you go home, and suddenly you have to manage everything again.

Groceries. Laundry. Food. Cleaning. Medication. Medical equipment. Phone calls. Appointments. Paperwork. Deliveries. Opening doors.Carrying things. Going up stairs.

And in my case, even eating and drinking are already difficult before I start dealing with everything else.

You are supposed to recover, but at the same time you are doing the work of several people just to keep your life functioning.

I’m writing here because I desperately need to hear from people who have experienced something similar.

Have any of you ever come home from hospital completely alone, with no family or close friends nearby?

Have you ever had to manage daily life alone while physically weak, unable to eat normally, or with one arm injured, immobilized, or difficult to use?

How did you manage food, cleaning, shopping, laundry and all the little things that normally require two hands?

Did you also feel completely overwhelmed after coming home?

I’m not necessarily looking for perfect solutions. Sometimes I just need to know that other people have survived periods like this.

I’m posting on an international forum because I haven’t really found the kind of support I need in French spaces, and right now I just need to talk to people who understand what living truly alone can mean when your health suddenly collapses.

Thank you for reading.

Living alone, there’s no one to grab meds or supplies if you start feeling sick. So what do you keep on hand, if anything?

I keep pain meds, like Advil/tylenol the smallest bottle they sell, ha. I need it rarely but when I need it I need it NOW.

But I cleaned out my cabinet today and threw out nearly all of things like my cold meds because they were expired. Should I replace or wait until I get sick? I hate the idea of just wasting them but at the same time it would nice to have them because when you start feeling sick, shopping is usually the last thing you want to do.

Thoughts?

(24f) i'm posting this because i think i've actually broken my own brain when it comes to dating

My life on my own is actually pretty great

I have a solid routine my career is going fine I love my apartment and I genuinely enjoy my own company

I ve basically built a life where I don’t need a partner for anything

but whenever I go on a few dates with a guy I actually like a switch flips

All that independence just turns into a massive wall

i get so terrified of looking needy or losing the upper hand that I can't bring myself to text something as simple as 'I had a really good time let's do it again'

its like Im so used to being in control of my own little world that letting someone else in feels almost impossible

Honestly it's gotten to the point where I’m way more direct about what I want with my tracys dog than I am with a guy I ve been seeing for a month which is kind of pathetic to admit out loud

I know I'm completely sabotaging myself but I genuinely don't know how to turn the defense mechanisms off at this point

I've got candles burning all fall, pumpkins, a lil bowl of candy on the table, and lots of movie and popcorn nights at home counting down.

I don't get many trick or treaters since I live in an apartment, but I'll leave candy outside and hopefully get a few knocks for Unicef donations. Will probably have a friend or two over for some mj, candy and spookiness.

Had a fever last night and realized there's no one to bring me water or check if I'm okay. Ended up setting alarms on my phone just to remind myself to drink fluids and take my temperature, because when you're that out of it, you genuinely forget to take care of yourself.

Made me think about how much of being sick assumes someone else is around someone to notice you're not okay, someone to hand you medicine, someone to just check.

Mines next week and I thought it’d be fun to hear what others do. For the night of my birthday I order in either Moo Shu Pork or the best Springfield Cashew Chicken I can find (nothing compares to the real deal), and I watch one of the following movies: The Fly, Invasion of the Body Snatchers or Drunken Master. I always have to blow out a candle on my birthday so I’ll either make a boxed cake or pick up some cupcakes at the store. This year I think I’ll splurge and get a mini cake from a local bakery! My family sends me gifts, mostly from Amazon lol, and I collect them all in a corner and don’t open them til the day of. Right now I have a big giant bow on top of my pile to help it feel more festive 🎁 I love birthdays even when, or maybe especially when, I get to celebrate them alone. What about you?

I’ve done it. I bought a house! Moved in! The joy of living alone is absolutely amazing. No one getting in the way, no conflicts, and no foul smells. I should have done this a lot sooner.

Sometimes living alone makes you develop little habits you probably wouldn't have noticed otherwise.

What's one you've picked up even if it's a bit silly or oddly specific?

For those of us in the M-F 9-5 hustle, how do you make your Sunday evenings special? What are your plans tonight?

I think I'll let myself order takeaway for dinner (probably a big brothy vegan ramen bowl), put on a sheet mask and some essential oils, smoke some mj, and drink my weight in tea. I've got to catch up on The Great British Bakeoff.

​

Hi,

I am making this post as an attempt to engage with online people, please feel free to share anything you want...

for me it's nothing special.... I started watching a new kdrama called "something in the rain" , but honestly my focus is here and there... I'm still recovering from my common cold sickness... so my body have lesser energy these days and I start feeling drowsy time to time....

Today I ordered 3 books ... I'm thinking I should reduce my screen time and get more into books ...it will be good for my mental health....

since this is fall.... it kind of brings lots of nostalgia and memories....and kind of reminds us again to think about what we want to plan for future...what we want from next year....

it is time to wind down...relax... recharge...and rejuvenate so that you welcome new year will full energy....

....

tbh it has been 2+ years in my new job which is my second job , my bond period of 18 months is over.... ideally I should be looking for better opportunities in new companies....

but looking at job market I'm in a kind of insecure feeling here... also looking for new job is kinda hassle....

also my current job is fully work from home which is really a blessing.... I'm not worried that they will remove me or anything.... but in this market you should always be ready for anything..... I'm scared to go out of my comfort zone .... but I know sooner or later I will have to... i am thinking of working here as long as I can ... and allowing myself to give enough time to prepare to go out ... instead of rushing things....

let me know about your day, how life is going etc... i would love to hear.... reddit is my only place where I can socialize a bit .... even after working from home in my own city 6 years... i kind of feel like an outsider when I go out ... it feels like almost nobody knows me.... it is weird right.....

I hope everyone have a fun weekend...

♥️

I recently moved out of my parents house for the first time in my life and am living alone. I even moved cities because work called me away. I'm free. A new man, a new life. I always swore that when I left I would do all the things I thought they were going to judge me for. Going out, taking classes, dressing as I saw fit. No more judgment. However, the mental damage seemed to be far worse then I thought. I haven't left my apartment in weeks. There is nothing interesting for me in the world. I actually want to do anything. I thought my parents were keeping me in their orbit with shame and guilt, but it turns out, I never wanted to leave either.