Hello everyone. I hope you’re doing well. I would like some advice on how I can improve my social battery. Over the past few years, I’ve lost a lot of friends because I don’t socialize much. People don’t need to talk to me very often, if at all, for our relationship to remain intact on my end, and I forget that other people don’t always feel this way, too. The thought of having to talk to someone every day is uncomfortable and annoying, and I often go days, weeks, or even months without reaching out to anyone, and don’t feel the need to. Even if I like the person, I find myself ignoring their messages or cutting them off because it can feel overwhelming before we even make it past the “talking stage.”
People, understandably, don’t tend to stick around me for very long because of how little I try to be around them, and even when I feel I’m being “normal” when it comes to a relationship and putting in as much effort as I can, I still get asked if I hate them or told I should try harder. I would rather stare at my chats and then turn off my phone than actually respond. A lot of the time, I have to force myself, or it just won’t happen because it feels like a chore. The people who do like being around me usually try to “fix” me.
I’ve never been a very social person, and currently only have a single friend I can stomach keeping in touch with. I’m around people often enough that there are plenty of opportunities to speak to them, but I just don’t. It feels like I’d rather be doing anything else than socializing whenever I am socializing, but when I’m not socializing, I feel the need to be. I’ve never been lonely in the way it’s been described to me, and usually the thought of being around people doesn’t make me happy. I don’t consider myself to be anxious or depressed. I’m not afraid of rejection or shy. I’m not sure why it’s always so draining. Regardless of how I personally feel about them, I know social skills are incredibly important to have, and I wouldn't hate having more than one person to talk to. I would love to hear any advice or theories you have. Thank you.