ED and he’s pushing me away
Long story but I will try to cut to the chase. We have been intimate three times.
First time, he was confident and we were hot, but no erection.
Second time, no erection but he was very nervous and focused and came in like 3 minutes tops. No erection, which I didn’t even know was possible.
Each of those times he shifts in energy and I can tell he is pushing me away. After that second time I called him to tell him how much I liked him and wanted to continue seeing him. He invited me over a few days after that and we had sex again and this time he was semi hard. I tried to go down on him but he stopped me. He was able to achieve penetration, and it was like we made love, very sweet. I told him how sexy he was. He asked me if I could spend the night, and I couldn’t, so after sex one more time, he kissed me goodbye and I left and went home. Even without the full erection it was a beautiful night and I felt closer to him.
Once again, he retreated. Didn’t hear from him for two weeks. My ego has taken a beating from all this, overthinking. Thinking maybe he is just avoidant, or he doesn’t really like me. Just when I thought we were over, he sends me a text saying he hopes I’m having a good week. I responded but nothing after that. Now it’s been two weeks since the text. The thing is, I know deep down he is still in to me. I also sense this is devastating to him and so he is pushing me away despite me pursuing him. But I haven’t pursued since time #2, so I’m wondering if he thinks I lost interest? I am super rusty and 3 years celibate after 20 year marriage with a dead bedroom for years. I am not used to doing the chasing. Do I reach out to talk again? I really want to but my biggest fear is that I appear desperate.
Should I try again? I really don’t care about the ED, I’m just happy to cuddle and kiss and talk. All of that is so good. How can I reassure him?