u/Glittering_Buy6245

I've posted a couple of times here, and really appreciate the community although everyone is here for such a devastating reason.

My wife and I specifically avoided having kids in our 20s so that we could establish ourselves a bit better (save money, buy a house, etc) and experience a bit of married life on our own. We talked about starting a family around the time we turned 30. Then we turned 30 and decided we weren't ready just yet, so we gave it a little longer.

At the beginning of this year, we decided that we were finally ready. 32 would be the age we started expanding our family. Since then, we've had a miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy, then another miscarriage. After going through the last miscarriage, it hit us both that we are so powerless in this process. We thought we would just start having kids when we wanted to, but in hindsight we should've started down this road years sooner. We are only just now at the beginning of figuring out what is going wrong, when we should've been welcoming our first child before the end of this year. Our parents will grow another year older without a grandchild. So many other depressing thoughts.

Has anyone here found a successful way of coping with this sense of "why did I wait so long to start trying"? Right now, we are pretty much just burying ourselves in research about what could be going wrong to try and fix things, while we wait for test results. It all feels so hopeless though.

Hey all,

Sorry to everyone who is here. This is a club that I didn't really think much about until I found myself here, and it really sucks.

My wife has gotten pregnant 3 times since the start of the year. 1 of them was chemical, but the others made it to 6-7 weeks and developed a heartbeat. We are doing all of the recurrent pregnancy loss testing and waiting on some results still. So far though, everything looks okay on her side. That prompted us to look into whether something could be going wrong on my side.

We paid for a semen analysis with DNA fragmentation analysis. Sure enough, my DNA fragmentation percentage was about 34.5, which they use 30 as the cutoff for "high". I don't smoke, basically never drink, and live an otherwise pretty healthy lifestyle. I have an appointment with an Andrologist in about 2 weeks, but wanted to see if anyone has experienced this situation before and ended up successfully correcting it. I've also read that shortening the abstinence window to like 12 hours (or less) may help improve the DNA fragmentation, although I'm guessing I have some sort of varicocele that may be causing it.

Has anyone dealt with multiple miscarriages being caused by DNA fragmentation? Did you end up fixing the problem and go on to a successful pregnancy? I feel so badly that I may be the whole issue here and I want to fix it ASAP if so

Hi everyone,

Since my wife and I found out about our latest miscarriage a​ bit over a week ago, we've been completely consumed with figuring out our plan moving forward. We had an initial consultation with an RE last week, but it's still very early in the process.

We're still waiting on some test results, including Karyotyping and genetic testing of the POC. So far, the test results that she has gotten have been "normal" with a slightly elevated TSH. However, we did a semen analysis and while most measures are normal, DNA fragmentation is on the high side at 34%.

I will be calling Urologists in the area first thing tomorrow morning to try and get an appointment, but I'm afraid of how long it could take. We already have a pretty healthy lifestyle, so there may be an underlying cause.

In the meantime, we have both been in the pits of despair all weekend trying to figure out what our plan is to move forward. We've talked about the pros and cons of waiting to try again naturally, after the fragmentation comes down a bit (hopefully). There are also some benefits to going straight to IVF. Our biggest fear right now is that we're both 32, and completely caught off guard by not being able to move ahead with having kids exactly when we wanted to. We're worried about losing more time.

I suppose it's too early in our journey to make these sorts of major decisions, and we lack all the necessary information to make such a decision. But how did you decide it was time for IVF?

Hi all,

With our miscarriage history since the beginning of the year (1 post-heartbeat, 1 chemical, and another post-heartbeat), we are desperately searching for answers.

Upon the advice of various research, including many posts on this page, we've set up an appointment with an RE. It will be a virtual appointment for a "consultation", but it is the quickest option that I could find that health insurance would cover.

In the meantime, my wife's doctor ordered a few of the RPL tests that we're waiting for results on. My hope is that the RE will help us get the remaining RPL testing completed, and help us come up with a course of action.

We aren't opposed to IVF, but that seems like a hasty option that may not work out depending on the issue causing the miscarriages. Is it realistic to expect the RE to actually try to work with us (both 32 btw) to identify and correct possible issues? Or will they be more interested in pushing us into IVF?

Thank you all. We're really just not sure what to expect as we continue on this journey.

Hi all,

I'm so sorry to everyone who is experiencing this horrible chapter of life. I definitely underestimated how it would make me feel, and am honestly shocked to be going through it.

My wife and I (both 32) have been TTC since January. She got pregnant almost immediately, but the HCG rise wasn't as expected. Surprisingly, we found a heartbeat at the second ultrasound, although the growth was a little behind. Unfortunately at the following ultrasound, the heartbeat had stopped. She had a d&c shortly after that, and we got the usual "this was probably random, try again".

We try again, and again... She quickly gets pregnant. That time, it ended up being a chemical pregnancy and nothing further. After that, she was diagnosed with PCOS and began taking metformin and we were again told to try again when ready. All the while, we have each been taking various supplements (her - prenatals, me - COQ 10, zinc, omega 3).

The third and most recent time, it took us two cycles to end up with a positive test. Her OB had her start progesterone and baby aspirin at the first positive test. She had a few blood samples collected and it seemed things were going okay. We had our first ultrasound sometime during the 6 + 3 mark, and a heartbeat of just over 100 was detected. The measurements were considered normal. Then a week later, we had our second ultrasound and the heartbeat had only risen to about 110 although again the growth looked fine. The OB was not optimistic at that point, and had us come in a few days later.

Earlier this week, we go in for the follow up ultrasound, and the heartbeat had stopped again. She had another d&c yesterday, and now we're back to square one. Thankfully the procedure went smoothly, and we are awaiting the results of the tissue testing.

She is resting and healing now, but we're both feeling determined to figure out what is going on, so I found a fertility clinic that is able to see us later next week for an initial consultation. Our goal is to at least do all RPL testing that we can, including for my part of the equation.

We're in the "research like crazy" phase and I'm trying to help the best that I can. I've read that in addition to Karyotyping, testing for endometritis and celiacs (from some recent posts here) may be helpful in zeroing in on possible causes. I would like to make a list of everything that we should be asking the RE at the fertility clinic about testing. Has anyone experienced multiple losses after the heartbeat was detected, and solved it for the next pregnancy?

Thank you all so much

Hey guys, it has been a tough couple of months. My wife and I have been trying to conceive since January, and she got pregnant pretty much immediately.

That pregnancy made it to a little over 6 weeks and had developed a heartbeat, but then the heartbeat was gone at our next appointment. She had a d&c procedure at that point.

Then not long after that, we were pregnant again. That one ended up being a chemical pregnancy.

Most recently, close to 2 months ago, we were pregnant... Again! This time some adjustments had been made to medication to address PCOS that the Dr identified, and the initial testing looked promising. The first ultrasound even showed a heartbeat of over 100. Due to the history, we were getting more frequent scans, and the next scan did not show the type of rise that they usually want to see. The Dr told us she wasn't sure if it would be viable, and sure enough (today) we find out that the heartbeat stopped.

We are scheduled for another d&c but this whole process has just been exhausting and I'm not sure how we can possibly have hope after this. We're going to do the whole recurring pregnancy loss testing thing, but from what I've read, those are inconclusive over half of the time. I've read lots of stories about people going on to have successful pregnancies after this, but both of us are having such a difficult time believing that will happen. Has anyone had any similar experiences that ended in success?

This has been quite the journey that we weren't expecting. In January, we found out that we were expecting our first. Made it to 6 weeks or so with a heartbeat, then lost the heartbeat. Wife had a d&c, and we started all over.

We tried again the next cycle, and she had what she thought was a period​​. She had been testing negative up until then, but for some reason decided to do another yesterday and ended up testing +. Went to the doc for bloodwork, and progesterone is well below the normal range, plus the doc now suspects PCOS. So we are thinking that the bleeding was actually a natural miscarriage.

My wife has been taking it really hard. I'm upset too, but trying to look at it from the perspective of at least she's been able to get pregnant and now we are hopefully on track to figure out what's going wrong. She is particularly upset by the fact that we had planned to start having kids when we were 30, and now we're going on 32 while just discovering these issues. I keep trying to reassure her that we will hopefully figure things out, and we can still go on to not be super old parents albeit maybe slightly older than we had hoped. But the plan never was to have kids before 30, so this just seems like a little wrinkle in the plan. We're not just figuring this out as we approach 40.

I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed, but I do believe things will work out eventually. Any words of encouragement ​that others who have been in a similar boat have? I have truly appreciated all the support of this community.