Man facing Emotional Abuse from Spouse.
I'm new to Reddit and I found this subreddit looking for male support groups, who help men who are facing Emotional abuse from their wives or spouse. My story so far... I have only been married a year. I have been in a relationship with my wife for three years. My heart has love for her but I am deeply considering divorce. For the last six months, I have endured heavy emotional abuse from her. Multiple false accusations, numerous days of neglect, dismissal and mocking. She made me feel unseen and recently unsafe emotionally in our marriage.
Very recently she falsely accused me and her friend of flirting and infidelity. Her friend had spent the night at our house. Her female friend and I have a connection when it comes to history, politics and culture. We're respectful around my wife and have never done anything which constitutes an affair.
The blowup happened the following morning and my wife relentlessly attacked both of us verbally. It was h humiliating, shameful and embarrassing. My nervous system broke and froze for most of it. Even though I did defend myself and her friend. My internal protector instincts kicked in and I said what I could without escalating the situation. Here friend handled it graciously but I knew she was very upset and unnerved.
My wife has shown a pattern of abuse towards me. She will mock me, and belittle me. She will act moody and sigh constantly when I'm socializing with my buddies online and playing video games. Which I don't often do. I pay majority of our rent plus all utilities. I work full-time and attend college part-time to elevate my career. I'm extremely supportive of my wife and her dreams, I have taken on a lot of her emotional energy and weight. I have learned that I am an emotional container a deep well and I myself have a pattern of getting myself into these types of relationships, instead of the ones I need. May even have a "rescuer" complex. I'm open to admit my faults and do the self work through therapy and support groups.
My wife and I are going to be attending marriage counseling and spiritual counseling. My intention is to attend for 30 days and focus on discernment within the therapy sessions. At this point, due to the past and present trauma. I do not foresee us sustaining the marriage.
That could very well change. I'm simply trying to see where I stand and what I can do. If anyone knows of good male support groups, would love a point in that direction.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated as I navigate the possibility of a separation with my wife.