Spontaneity
I dont know if this is adhd or autism or whatever… pretty sure i am Not neurotypical. Kind of knew all my life but never diagnosed. Son adhd. Daughter selective mutism. I survived socialising as a teen / you g adult by drinking way too much. Self medicating. Badly. No off switch. Plenty of neurodivergence in family….
Anyways, My issue is i cant seem to handle spontaneity when it comes to social interactions. Like if my husband says “jeff is coming over in 10 minutes “ and I didnt know previously I feel like a rabbit caught jn headlights. My mind races… the house isnt tidy enough, i’m a mess, i’m not prepared, i cant face talking and appearing normal,…” its a total sudden fear. A kind of block. After a 10 minutes and a kind of panicked preparation i can often handle it. I can perform well, i can be very social once prepared. The best hostess…. But sometimes by chance i feel i cant face the spontaneous thing, and then there is no undoing of the block. Its a solid block. A pressure i cant deal with. I feel it like a weight.. its a fear, and i feel like hiding and cryjng and just refusing to come out….. its worse when i am stressed…. And any forcing when i have that block is awful. Its exhausting managing it sometimes. Even if husband announces we should go out for lunch with no warning i cant… but 10 minutes later i can process it and enjoy it. …. Thoughts?