u/Glittering_Cod9625

walking this spring and i think i missed the deadline to get it through the school. i’m 5 ft and can pay for shipping as well since im not in town

i’m 3 weeks post comp and have been binging like crazy, doing better at pulling it together lately but still sitting w the gloom of a 20 pound weight gain (i’m aware it’s not all fat, still i look uncomfortably inflated). i go to a bodybuilding gym where im loosely connected with all the staff and ive picked up on a lot of direct and indirect judgement on my mental and physical state. ive struggled my entire life with extreme depression and mood/personality disorders and while i understand and invite in the extremes that the sport offers, it feels frustrating that i receive so much shame and judgement for being mentally fragile. not even just within my gym but in the bodybuilding community as a whole

i’m working on getting my adherence, mental health and routine back in order which i’m being proactive about but im struggling with not taking this judgement personally when im already feeling low and incompetent

ive had literally no support except myself post show, and im having a hard time not kicking myself for falling into this mental/physical state especially with the judgement from my own “community.”

just posting here to see if anyone else can offer relatability or support about these topics. surely i’m not the only person who thinks it’s weird to judge competitors for not being on their A game 100% of the time?