Is there just something wrong with me? Why am I not attracted to my husband??
Hey I’m a bit angry. At myself (25f) and at my husband (26m).
I feel like things have been going south and I don’t know how to fix my feelings or this situation. I’m not sure what needs fixed and if ifs even possible.
I’m currently not that attracted to my partner sexually although I want to be as he is my husband and I don’t know how to deal with this. I wondered if it could be my hormones but I can still get super turned on by other things just not him…
He used to be able to make me finish pretty easily and he is a wonderful man as he would always make sure I would finish first. But now it just doesn’t work for me, I can’t get wet. and it’s super frustrating I’ve been blaming myself and now I’m starting to blame him too.
A while back I had an interaction at a party with a person who was really into me like really into me to the point that he wouldn’t get off of me even after I had told him that I’m not okay and I didn’t want to do that as I’m married.
He sort of forced himself on me and my body was betraying me… it just makes me think maybe this whole thing that’s going on right now is because I don’t feel like my husband is attracted to me. Sometimes when I’m with him I feel a bit self conscious and when I was there that night with this other person, I didn’t feel like that.
my husband very really gives compliments as well and when he does they sometimes feel forced. He has told me he has always struggled with words which is okay I came to accept it but now I’m feeling like I’m lack that attraction/ passion from him which is a turn off I guess.
Like who would wanna have sex with someone if it seems like they just think it’s meh.
Maybe that whole situation is the reason I’m feeling off all together. But this lack of attraction was there before all of that happened too. I even went to a gynaecologist about low drive and she said I should see a psychiatrist
I believe I should communicate this to my partner but I’m not sure how or what to say.
F*ck having meh sex, I want some passion, love and lust. :(
Contextual Update:
I wasn’t raped though I was assaulted. The man from the party was very pushy. I told him I wasn’t okay, he didn’t listen. I did not have sex with him or kiss him. I told my husband what happened the next day
I don’t take contraceptives and this isn’t an arranged marriage. He doesn’t take any medication though I’ve been taking citalopram
I guess the main problem I’m facing here is:
How do I feel more attracted to my husband again? He doesn’t like to leave his comfort zone much at all. He was very good in bed at the start but the same thing after years has gotten a bit boring.
How do I be better and not fetishise things that arn’t helpful?