u/Glittering_Maize_458

AITA for feeling hurt by how my lifelong friend is acting about my engagement and wedding?
My friend and I have known each other since we were 3 years old, so this is someone I’ve basically grown up with. We’ve always been really close, and I’m even one of her bridesmaids. But lately, I feel like our friendship has turned into some weird competition, and I’m starting to question if I’m overreacting.
I’m 21 and engaged, and she’s 18 and engaged. Ever since she got engaged, she keeps making comments about how she’s “getting married before me,” and it’s starting to feel like she’s using that as some kind of status thing. Like because her wedding is first, mine somehow has to take a backseat. It’s gotten to the point where it feels like I’m not “allowed” to plan too much of my own wedding yet because hers comes first.
She even said she would “allow” me to wear my engagement ring at her wedding. I just kind of stared at my phone after that because… why would that be her decision? Why would that even need permission?
Then today she texted me saying she and her fiancé are planning to start trying for a baby next summer, but that I can’t tell anyone. Normally keeping a secret for a friend wouldn’t bother me at all. But what stung is she knows I’ve been told I may have a really hard time getting pregnant, and there’s a chance I might not be able to have kids at all. That’s something I’ve been quietly grieving, and it felt really insensitive for her to bring up in this weird secretive way, almost like another milestone she needed to announce first.
I genuinely want to be happy for her, and I’ve been supportive through everything. I’m in her wedding. I show up. I care. But lately it feels like every major thing in my life turns into something she has to “win” getting married first, having kids first, controlling what I do at her wedding, and making sure everyone knows she hit every milestone before me.
Because we’ve been friends for so long, I keep second-guessing myself and wondering if I’m just being too sensitive. But honestly, I’m starting to feel less like a friend and more like someone she’s competing against.
AITA for feeling hurt, or does this sound unhealthy?

AITA for feeling hurt by how my lifelong friend is acting around my engagement and wedding?
My friend and I have known each other since we were 3 years old. We’ve been close forever, and I’m also one of her bridesmaids. But lately I feel like our friendship has turned into some weird competition and I don’t know if I’m overreacting.
I’m 21 and engaged, and she’s 18 and engaged. Since she got engaged, she’s made multiple comments about how she’s “getting married before me,” and it feels like she uses that to act like I can’t really plan my own wedding yet because hers comes first. Like somehow I’m supposed to wait to make plans for mine because hers is happening sooner. She’s even said things like she’ll “allow” me to wear my engagement ring at her wedding, which rubbed me the wrong way because… why would that even be up to her?
Today she texted me saying she and her fiancé are planning to start trying for a baby next summer, but I can’t tell anyone. Normally keeping a secret wouldn’t bother me, but what hurt is she knows I’ve been told I may have a really hard time getting pregnant, or maybe might not be able to have kids at all. That’s something I’ve been quietly dealing with, and it felt kind of insensitive to bring that up in this secretive, almost bragging way.
I want to be happy for her, and I’ve supported her through everything. I’m literally in her wedding. But I’m starting to feel like every major life event in my life turns into her needing to “win” somehow getting married first, starting a family first, controlling what I do at her wedding, etc.
Because we’ve known each other so long, I keep second guessing myself and wondering if I’m just being too sensitive. But honestly I’m starting to feel more like I’m being managed than treated like a friend.
Am I overreacting, or does this sound unhealthy?