u/Glittering_Rush_1451

Reposting this since my first title apparently sucked lol

So I’ve seen plenty of videos on YouTube and read lots of stories about scammers and scams and thought my family and I were fairly well protected since we all also had years of yearly mandatory training through our jobs. I found out today however how incredibly wrong I was.

We found out today that my stepfather has been the victim of a months long phishing scam. He got one of those text messages saying his SSN was suspended for suspected fraud and he took the bait and ended up changing his phone number, cleaning out his savings and TSP (government version of a 401k for those that don’t know) turned most of it into gold and handing it off to a guy who pulled up at the end of our street. All told a little over $300k he gave them along with his actual SSN.

We spent the last several hours reporting it to all the agencies (SSA, FTC, FBI, local PD), locking down his credit with all three credit bureaus, all the things. What a nightmare, but thankfully he still has his pension so he’s not going to have to find a job again at 77.

A post in another sub reminded me of this story. So my reserve company got put on a rapid deployment and had to bring in a bunch of soldiers from other units to plus up. They gathered us all up on Fort Carson for as much training as they could. One of the new E6s was an avid fan of Stargate and somehow only found out on Carson that the Cheyenne Mountain Complex was a real military base. Which convinced him that the show was real, so in the middle of the night he takes off in another soldiers pov and head up there. He was obviously stopped but spent so much time arguing with the guards that since he used to be 10th group that his security clearance was enough to let him through that they detained him and the commander had to go up there in the middle of the night to retrieve them.

WASHINGTON - In a stunning move, the Supreme Court has ruled 6-3 that the South, not the Union, won the American Civil War. The case, Lee v. Grant, was brought by the long-decayed corpse of Robert E. Lee, which currently lies under the Washington and Lee University Chapel. In his petition for a writ of certiorari, Lee's lawyers claimed that "the current culture of deceptive claims around the War Between the States warrants a petition to the highest court of the land" and that slaveholders "treated their slaves like the finest of property". Chief among their arguments is the claim that respondent Ulysses S. Grant and William Tecumseh Sherman's mere existence constitutes "defamation".

The court granted cert in a narrow margin, with liberal justices Elena Kagan, Sonia Sotomayor, and Ketanji Brown Jackson dissenting from the granting of certiorari, stating that "the question of which side won the civil war is so laughably simple, the court need not consider the question."

During oral argument, Lee's lawyers emphasized that the current culture had "defamed the petitioner's image by insinuating that he "treated his property poorly and committed treason against the United States" and refuted Grant's supposed claims about him one by one. Lee's lawyers cited the case Dred Scott v. Sandford and Plessy v. Ferguson as precedent, with Dred Scott supporting the claim that Lee could not have mistreated enslaved people if they weren't people in the first place and Plessy supporting the claim that "everyone and their mothers know who actually won the war." In a surprising turn, Lee's lawyers also cited Louisiana v. Callais, claiming that "if the court knows that stripping away voting acts is cool and good, this court should also acknowledge that the South won the War Between the States, and therefore could not have committed treason."

Grant's lawyers began by citing Texas v. White, in which the court proclaimed the illegality of secession. Further questioning prompted by Justice Alito reportedly resulted in a copy of Ron Chernow's biography of Ulysses S. Grant landing conveniently on Justice Samuel Alito's face, prompting Court Marshals to escort Grant's counsel out, ending argument early.

Today, the court issued its opinion to a packed court. "This decision is a narrow one," Justice Brett Kavanaugh wrote in the court's majority opinion, "We have merely decided that the glorious institution known as the Confederate States of America was the ultimate victor in a 5-year long battle formerly known as the American Civil War, and, as such, the Fifth Circuit decision that Ulysses S. Grant's existence did not defame the petitioner and that the Confederacy committed treason is overturned. In addition, the American Civil War will hereby be referred to as the 'War Between the States' in all court proceedings, and any future playing of "Union Dixie" and images containing William Tecumseh Sherman drinking the tears of rebels are not allowed within 500 feet of the Court."

"This decision has profound impact for the lives of many Americans," Neil Gorsuch wrote proudly in a concurrence, "The Confederacy promised no broken treaties to our native peoples in exchange for military support. Today, that promise becomes a reality."

"I agree completely with the Opinion of the Court and would like to emphasize that this decision has diverse support across people from all facets of life, including my ancestors, who were once enslaved" Clarence Thomas wrote in a 42-word concurrence, "I provide this concurrence voluntarily and of my own free will."

In a scathing 48-page dissent, Justices Kagan, Sotomayor and Jackson opened with a noticing that "never has this court ever heard a case brought by a skeleton". Furthermore, the question was "so laughably stupid that JUSTICE ALITO deserved to have a 1,000 page book thrown in his face" and that "if this case stands as precedent, Thurgood Marshall has the legal standing to sue JUSTICE THOMAS and have his case accepted by the Supreme Court."

At press time, Justice Jackson claimed that she had not punched Justice Thomas - her hand was merely firmly pressed against his stomach.