My friend makes me feel like a back up option? (25F,25F)
I used to be really close to her but now feel she sees me as a back up. I’ve always been there for her, I’ve let her into my small friend group but she keeps me very seperate from hers. To the point she ditches me or says “I’d love you to come but not sure you’d enjoy yourself with my friends” then ignores me until time has passed so I can’t go. I’ve kept quiet as most of my friends have moved away now & she’s the only one left, I’m scared I’ll be alone
Today something happened that hurt me, I’ve had a rough time & she suggested we go out this weekend to make up for her bailing on me two weeks ago. I agreed but am working so suggested I meet her after, I said I’d try to get a shift swap. I sent her reels about our night out & brought it up a few times. I’ve even got a new top to cheer me up..
I noticed she’d ignore me mentioning the night out. So I outright asked why. She said she “wasn’t sure we were going out due to me working so she made other plans” it happens to be one of the friends she keeps me separate from. She then offered to go swimming on Monday instead….not really a night out to take my mind off things. I don’t get her reasoning when she invited me first & we’ve been talking about it. I’m hurt she can’t just add me to the night out still. I’m hurt she didn’t even clarify about Saturday (but feels like an excuse anyway) & just went behind my back. It makes me feel like an option that she just throws away if her other friends are free. I’m so upset as I’ve been so looking forward to this weekend. This ain’t the first time this has happened either. But I’m worried I’ll lose her as a friend when I have no one else to go out with