My abortion story (FL/7w5d)
Hi everyone, I decided that I wanted to share my story. I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks and a few days and i immediately made an appointment at planned parenthood. My boyfriend and I went together, and even though I wasn’t 100% sure what I wanted to do yet, I knew that in FL there was a restriction after 6 weeks and they require multiple appointments so I figured I would just go, plus I was honestly panicked as it was completely unexpected. After that appointment, I thought about what I was going to do and really thought that I wanted to keep my baby. Within the next week I felt every emotion possible and was just extremely emotional, anxious and that’s when I started to feel nauseous every second of every day. I would feel relief for a few moments but anytime I was awake I was sick and throwing up anything I consumed, it was horrible and I was really struggling at that point mentally and physically. I work on my feet and sometimes my days are long, 15 hours. So obviously that was extremely hard to do while feeling so sick and I really started to question if I made the right choice. If I couldn’t even get through this, and was probably going to have to quit my job or reduce my hours significantly, how could I truly support my baby and give it the best life? It was just so hard and at that point I didn’t think I could do it. So I came into this subreddit and found firstaidaccess and ordered pills online. They came quick and I had no issues with shipping or anything like that. I took the first pill the day I got the package, and honestly I couldn’t even think about what I was doing I just had to take it. The next day, I put the pills under my tongue and waited. I felt like I needed to pee immediately after I swallowed them after letting them sit so I went to the bathroom and when I wiped I had already started bleeding. It happened really quick, and from this point it just happened so fast. I was sitting on the toilet and the bleeding just got heavier and heavier, lots of clots and then I started cramping. The cramps were pretty normal at first. While I was sitting on the toilet I did see and feel the sac come out. The cramps were extremely painful at that point and I got up to lay in the shower, but I was feeling zero relief from the xt strength naproxen I have prescribed for period pains. So at that point I was really unwell and in so much pain I didn’t know what to do. I decided to go to the ER and say i was having a miscarriage. This is part of why I wanted to share my story, because I was scared they would know I had an abortion and I wasn’t sure what would happen if they knew that. I will say going to the ER was horrible because I did have to have a transvaginal ultrasound done while in excruciating pain and bleeding heavily, it was just awful. But after they confirmed the “miscarriage” I was given morphine and it did help don’t get me wrong but I was expecting to feel zero pain and I was still able to feel the cramping for hours. The doctor came in as well to speak to me and gave me a nice talk about miscarriages, so they did not know I took the pills. The pain the following days was much more similar to a period, but there were times I was passing a clot that would cause a lot of pain. I was honestly shocked at how many women downplay the bleeding because to me, it was extremeeee. I bled for a LONG time after. Like pretty much the entire month after I was bleeding heavily, then spotting , then bleeding. Then about a month later, I assumed my period started again because it was heavy and painful. That next month I continued to spot and bleed on and off until I got my period. So basically two months of bleeding and ruining every pair of underwear I own. Honestly the emotional aspect has been so so so difficult for me and I’m still struggling to fully move forward. I am doing a lot better but I just truly feel so different and impacted by this. Thank you for reading if you made it this far, my bf is amazing and supportive but I have just felt very alone in my struggle because I’m the one that did it, it happened in my body, our baby was growing inside of me, you know? Anyways, thank you and if you have any questions id happily answer, I’m sending everyone in this sub lots of love.
Edit to add:: I just want to clarify, although yes it was painful and yes I bled for a long time, I am so so grateful to this subreddit and the fact I was able to have an abortion. I hope this doesn’t scare anyone, I just wanted to be honest and open and get it all off my chest.