It’s been almost a month since my boyfriend and I broke up. Our relationship was very intense and emotionally deep. He often talked about marriage and was very committed to the relationship, even more so than I was at times. We were also planning to close the distance soon, which made everything feel very real and serious for both of us.
We were friends for about a year before dating, and during that time—and even early in the relationship—he never behaved in the way I’m seeing now.
He ended things because he never communicated how he was feeling about certain issues during the relationship, and in the end he blamed me for not being able to understand or “figure out” his feelings on my own.
Recently, I saw him again on Instagram after he appeared in my suggestions. His account is now public, and he has started following many new people, including women he had previously unfollowed during our relationship. I also noticed he has unarchived a lot of old photos of himself, including pictures from before where he is posing shirtless and being very “showy,” which is very different from how he used to present himself.
During the relationship, he often said he had strong values and would criticize behaviors like following random women or models on social media. He never acted like this before, even when we were just friends. Seeing this change now feels very contradictory and honestly shocking to me.
I know I shouldn’t have checked his social media, but I did and it ended up affecting me more than I expected.
I feel confused, hurt, and overwhelmed because it feels like the person I knew and the person I’m seeing now don’t match at all.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for—maybe just reassurance that it’s normal to feel emotionally overwhelmed after a breakup like this, especially when the relationship was so intense and had future plans involved.