u/Global-Armadillo8985

5 years ago I cut off complete contact with my ex. Blocked number, no resolution. We ended on bad terms. We were together for a year, fought constantly, and I even tried breaking up with them a couple times. I couldnt confidently say there was one bad person in the relationship, I think we both fed off our toxic traits and we were young (20 years old) and didnt know how to navigate a relationship in a healthy way. After we broke up, we hooked up here and there for a few months after. They were then convinced I was hooking up with one of my friends (even though I wasnt) and when they saw my friend wearing my sweatshirt they flipped on me for cheating and I had enough. I cut them off completely, no contact what so ever. A couple months after, they randomly face-timed me, I answered (not exactly knowing it was them because I got rid of their contact) and although I had a feeling, I was still surprised to see their face. I hung up and said I did not want to speak. From which after I blocked their number. Months later again, I was on my laptop. So my phone is connected to my laptop and apparently their number was not blocked on my computer. i rarely look at my messages on my computer and one day I did and I saw very long messages from my ex apologizing - then more texts later saying they were a mess without me, saying they didnt deserve to be cut off and being a pariah - then more texts even later saying to take care of myself. Of course I saw these months later after they had been sent, almost 5 or 6 months after they had called me. I never responded to these texts and for some reason, it always ate away at me. Now 5 years later, I feel wrong for never responding or truly apologizing. My reasoning back then was because I didnt want to reopen a door, I thought it best for us to move on without this back and forth, we didnt work out and as much as I cared for them it was unhealthy to stay in communication. But I never rightfully apologized. My ex is a witch and sometimes I feel like I'm being hexed for never mending this properly. Reasons why I think this is because not long after our no contact, I suffered with chronic pain that I had surgery for last year and am still in remission for. I also find myself getting injured quite often (smaller things granted, sprained ankle, ingrown toenail) not really sure if this is just out of my clumbsy-ness and I should stop fearing of being hexed or what. My life honestly is good despite these things, I have a stable job, an amazing partner and great friends. Is it worth reaching out to try and mend this long ago thing still stained on my conscience all because I FEEL like im being hexed? Any advice is appreciated