u/Global-Fig-321

Hey everyone! So I have recently been coming to the realization that my preoccupation with femboy stuff for the past 2-3 years may be more than just an OCD obsession. It may actually be a genuine desire. Ever sense I learned about femboys I could never let it go. The obsession and preoccupation come and went in waves. My OCD has absolutely latched on to it and heightened my anxiety and uncertainty, turned it into a big OCD obsession, and made me wonder if my feelings of longing and even envy are my OCD gaslighting me. Recently, I have started to feel that my longing and occasional envy, and desire for cute, pretty expression might not fundamentally be OCD. I feel a certain longing and ache when I see certain cartoon/anime femboy and androgynous characters. I'm still working things out in my head though. I am likely going to grow out my hair to medium length. Style-wise I'm not sure but maybe somewhere between a wolf cut and a bob? As for clothing I am thinking androgynous to fem lite. No skirts or dresses (at least as of the time I'm thinking of this) but instead women's style jean shorts, bike shorts, and leggings etc. For tops I like t-shirts, oversized hoodies, oversized sweaters, and slouchy long sleeve tops. Socks wise I'm open. For footwear I like Vans, sneakers, and Doc Martens type boots. I'm not alt and I'm not into that TikTok femboy style either, and I am open to the idea of alternating between more fem and regular masc outfits. I'm 25 but I probably look slightly younger than that. Going femboy for me would likely just entail shaving etc. for my quite abundant body hair, a skincare routine, trimming my bushy straight eyebrows, and losing my belly and neck fat (I'm slightly chubby but have a tall lean frame and long legs). My features are probably average masculine aside from being tall and broad shouldered and having a cleft chin. I'm not really into makeup or accessories either. Personality wise, I'm mild to normal masculine. I think I'm straight (I've had a few bi-curious moments) but I remember someone thinking I give off bi vibes. I'm in many ways a normal guy. I like crude humor. But I also am intrigued by the idea of looking soft and pretty. I admit I do often cross my legs when I sit. As for now I think growing my hair out and seeing how I feel may be a good way to gauge how I feel and if I want to go further. I come from a liberal family so I do have the freedom to explore, not saying that some wouldn't have concerns or be confused or slightly judge.