u/Gloomy-Ad5856

I recently started medication for ADHD and I’m fighting much less with executive dysfunction. Unfortunately it’s still hard to do things because obviously I have chronic pain and that still keeps me from being able to do as much.

I got home from work yesterday hoping to do the dishes because I can finally do them without fighting myself mentally and procrastinating and putting it off.

Instead I ended up laying down in my bed crying in pain because I have such a long to-do list every day and still lack the ability to get much of anything done and everything feels overwhelming because it piles up. I expected this might happen with meds but it’s still hard. I know everyone with chronic pain has to go through the process of accepting their limits even without ADHD/other executive dysfunction issues but damn.

I (20M) moved out in November 2025. I wasn’t sure what to expect from my mother but I did hope our relationship might improve because there wouldn’t be a severe power dynamic (thankfully I don’t rely financially on her). I was always afraid of telling her anything when I lived with her because I knew it could be thrown back in my face later or I’d be punished for it.

I chose to not tell her I was moving out until the day of. I chose a day she would be at work all day, and I had 2 friends help me move all my stuff in 4 hours. I was really afraid of how she’d treat me if I told her before I moved out. She’s an alcoholic and manipulative. I was afraid she’d try to guilt me into staying or convince me I wasn’t capable of being on my own yet. I texted her after all my stuff was moved out, telling her and my younger sister I was still willing to keep in contact.

The first times I met up with her afterwards she was passive aggressive and rude to me about me moving out. Now it’s gotten better but it still seems like she doesn’t even want to see me despite inviting me to the house. She’ll invite me over just to sit on the couch and watch tv with her.

When I lived there (and I’m sure she still does this with my sister) she’d make me and my sister sit in the living room for hours every night watching tv with her. She’d get mad if we wanted to go to bed so we had to sit there and wait until she let us go to bed. She’d get mad if we were on our phones so we had to try to hide it if we wanted to use them because it was our time to “hang out” even though she had no interest in talking to us or doing any kind of activity with us (not that we wanted to do those things with her anyway, considering how she is).

Now when I come over I try to talk to her, because my assumption is that she’s inviting me over because she actually wants to hang out with me, as in, she wants to talk to me and know about what’s going on with me (and obviously I want to know about what’s going on in her life as well). Occasionally she does ask but quickly seems uninterested when I actually start talking. The last time I was over there I was trying to talk to her and she turned on the tv while I was talking.

My dad died about 2 years ago but I’ve always struggled feeling like my family doesn’t actually care about me even when he was alive. I probably sound selfish but I wish my mother actually did care because I do care about what’s going on in her life. My sister and I aren’t especially close either. I’m only really close with my maternal grandparents.

I will eventually cut off my mother especially if things don’t get better. Right now I’m still keeping in contact because my sister is still a minor living with her, and although we aren’t super close, cutting off my mother would make seeing my sister impossible.

Honestly at this point I don’t even know if my mother would care if I cut her off, and it hurts that I was the one abused yet I’m the only one who seems willing to work on our relationship.