I am going to write this text because I need an outlet to comprehend what is going on. I‘m usually not a person to talk about my personal emotions with friends or family and don’t share deep thoughts with anyone.
I(M30) moved to a different City in January and met this girl(F27) a couple of weeks ago in February. We spent our first date talking through the night. Engagement and conversation so great that we forgot about our metros operating hours etc. and that I left home with the biggest grin on my face that I ever had after a date.
The next couple of dates also went great. Engagement, holding hands kisses, no phones, nothing that could give you the ick or anything to reconsider. She made me feel so comfortable and complete, and it was easy to talk to her about anything and everything. She told me she was unhappy with her current employer due to mismanagement of HR/Projects and that she thinks about applying somewhere else.
As both of us are fairly busy with jobs and our social life/sports, we have seen each other on a weekly basis for about 10weeks.
About 4weeks ago she told me she is going to send out her applications and that she is pretty stressed out. That’s where communication started to get scarce. Multiple daily texts turned into once a day, but she’d text things like: hey I’m busy, I’ll explain whenever we meet etc..
We have not seen each other for the last 3weeks since my parents/sisters visited on two separate weekends and she had fiends visit in between as well.
I noticed that the responses to messages got shorter during that time, but it’s cool right? I mean it’s not like we’re together yet or that I could demand her texts/thinking about me whatsoever.
She told me she had to go to a different city for two weeks for her job and I asked her if she was open to meet on the weekend.
No response to that until last Sunday where she claimed she had a busy weekend and is now packing her stuff. She knew that my sisters had left at lunch, so we could have seen each other before her train departed, but she did not propose to meet.
I sent her a text that I wish her a comfy ride and jokingly added that she should bring a thing from the office, that she forgot a previous time when she had to go on a trip. - no response.
Since she claimed to like Star Wars and had an elaborate opinion on the Episodes(1-6 only ofc), I wished her a happy „May the fourth“ on Monday and asked here if she wanted to see the Mandalorian whenever it airs.
Left on delivered since Monday morning.
If it felt like a random person, I would not care. If one of my buddies leaves me on read I don’t care either. I know they come back if they just got too much on their platter right now to respond properly. But honestly, I am low key freaking out. My sleep is fucked, I constantly check my phone in hopes she responds and my mood is the worst. I believe the uncertainty keeps my mind racing.
I don’t want to chase her or put pressure on her, I think I am rational enough to understand that it does not make sense to pursue her if she does not feel the same willingness to communicate.
But man it hurts. It fucking hurts a lot.
@anyone, please be real.
Say if you are moving on or pursuing a different vision and have the decency to let the other person know.