[29M] afraid that moving in with my [28F] girlfriend will destroy the independence and personal space I’ve built over the last 7 years
I’m starting to realize that my need for independence and personal space might become a serious problem once my girlfriend and I move in together.
We both work from home, each doing our own job, which means we’ll basically be around each other almost 24/7. And honestly, that scares me a little.
For the past 7 years, I’ve lived alone and built a lifestyle that really works for me. I’m very used to having freedom and movement during the day — going for walks, grabbing coffee alone somewhere in the city, visiting friends or family, going to the gym, spending time outside the house, or even taking a short solo trip sometimes just to clear my head.
When we lived separately, this was never an issue. We had balance. I could recharge on my own, and then fully enjoy our time together. But now I’m worried that living together full-time — especially while both working from home — will make me feel mentally trapped or overwhelmed.
The problem is, I don’t think I’m someone who functions well being inside the house constantly or being around another person all the time, no matter how much I love them. I genuinely love my girlfriend, and she’s not controlling or toxic at all. This fear is more about me and how much I value autonomy and solitude.
What I’m afraid of is slowly starting to feel guilty for wanting to:
- go out alone for coffee,
- spend time with friends without her,
- leave the apartment during the day just because I need space,
- or occasionally travel alone for a couple of days to mentally reset.
I don’t know if this is just a normal fear before moving in together, especially for someone who has lived alone for so long, or if it’s a sign that we simply have different needs when it comes to lifestyle and closeness.
Has anyone here experienced something similar after moving in with a partner while also working from home together?