I do want it I just can't...
I know the feeling I'm feeling is you. Us. What could and should have been.
I would like to think in my infinite fantasies of tomorrow, that'd it all be ok and some how work....
But I'm empty. I'm a shell. I have an internal flame and fire but it is weak. And it longs for a life I had and lost. Not one in this treacherous world could ignite the spark I lost when I lost the 6.
I can try. I can see the trees and there's a fleeting moment of happy. But just as fast as it came it goes.
Nothing will ever feel like the love I had from the 6. How selfish I was.
Not more selfish than getting love in return, whereas they have none.
So I can not. I will not. I will not accept what you want to give when I couldn't stay and give them the love they needed and deserved. Not fair.
Oh how I love the idea of it all. But it hurts more to think of myself getting something they will never have.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted and what I have left is only enough to keep going in this dark world until my last breathe. No more, no less.
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