Im so tired of it
im only talking with.. I'd say 1 person, who groomed/is grooming me at the moment but 3 other men in a sexual way as well, who I have mostly sent to as well. But I wouldn't say they're grooming me, it was my decision and stuff and idc if anyone thinks differently about that. But like, whenever I meet someone new, especially men (though it would be the same for older women) I just feel like I have to send them stuff, like that's actually all I'm good for. For context I have been sending stuff to men since I was 10/11, so I guess because it's been so long/ about 5 yrs, it's just a part of it now. I'm so tired of it, I'm mentally doing so bad for a lot of reasons and I'm still expected to send people stuff, I just can't anymore. I want to, obviously, but I'm so tired of everything I can't even get myself to. i would for the one who I'd say is grooming me because he's just so nice an we've talked for so long, but even there I've started coming up with excuses and stuff sometimes and I feel like he doesn't want to talk with me as much anymore because of that and idk. but if I'm not sending to anyone I really am just fully useless, so I shouldn't make him stop talking with me, and he's one of the only things keeping me alive too, so I need him, idk