Just venting because I know I didn't stutter
I have no picture for this plant and just sharing for the amusement of you all.
My husband, 5th grade classroom teacher of academically gifted students (think all Big Bang Theory kids), received an orchid as a class gift. It's all in flower. His classroom gets good light and doesnt have AC blowing all the time. Honestly an excellent space for orchids. He tells me about said orchid being a gift from a student. He's excited because he's seen me care for my orchids: soak them every week or two depending on if they are dry, dry the leaves, cut a stem that's browned, etc. You all know the drill.
Now, I'm away taking care of family though and he tells me about how excited he is about the orchid.
I do the same run down: orchids don't need your constant care and attention, give it a soak and then leave it. Don't cut anything until after the blooming stops, don't repot until blooming stops, don't get water in the leaves.
Today he calls me up and we're talking about his orchid and how proud he is of taking care of it and following the directions I laid out for him...and then says, "But I did a little trimming on it."
"What?"
"Well, there were these roots growing out of the pot and just hanging in the air, so I cut them all off."
"Babe, it's an epiphyte. It has arial roots."
"I get that, but the roots are sticking out, so I guess I need a bigger pot for it."
"Is it flowering?"
"Yes."
"And I said just leave it till it's done flowering, right?"
Audible sigh, "Yeah, but the roots were sticking out and looked dry. I probably need to repot it."
"Leave the plant alone. It will be fine, but you cut off it's arial roots which it likes to have. Like fingers. Remember, it's wants conditional plant love. Not normal plantlove. Leave the orchid alone till school is done for the year."
"But..."
"No buts. Just leave it. And only water it in a couple weeks. I can even give you a fertilizer when it's time."
"OH! We can fertilizer it!" This is a person who, because of school rules, knows he can't have bleach to clean with so goes and gets to clean with 70% strength vinegar only to then realize this stuff will peel the paint off your walls as well as burn the hairs out of your nostrils (I told him to just bring the industrial strength vinegar home). I see him reaching for the top shelf, extra strength whatever fertilizer in my head.
"Slow your horses, my dude. . ." I could go on.
I love the man, but I wish he just listened better. I also have to warn him away from a new classroom pet every month. He already has 3 - including a White's Tree Frog. All end up in the house sooner or later. I've now had multiple fish, turtles, shrimp, a bearded dragon, pill bug farm, caterpillars, and the list goes on. Now add orchids which I am supportive of but still.