Findom ethics and dynamics obviously is always a common discussion here so I was wondering how people perceive my dynamic which has been going on for almost two years now. It has changed a lot over time so I'll just be talking about it in its current state. The past few months mostly.
To begin with, this is a dynamic that very rarely has her demanding money. Almost never. And if she does demand it herself then it's always laughably small amounts. Literally pennies, and that's done just for the inconvenience and the patheticness of the amount. She knows she doesn't need to demand. So she doesn't.
The very large majority of money sent to her has been me initiating it. Practically begging for it. No, not practically. Literally begging for it.
A bit of context, I met her when I was making a point to quit findom. She was aware of that, we spoke about it a lot. It was very much an addiction. And is very much still an addiction. Considering I was trying to quit at the time I met her, it may come as a surprise to hear I've now sent just around £10,000 total.
Recently this has really jumped up. I only get about £700 each month for myself, which covers things like food, traveling, and luxuries. So it can run out pretty quick. In these last couple of months however, I've sent her quite a bit more than I've taken home. A little over £1800. She also has access to all three of my cards including my credit card, one of which is now on her Google pay so she is able to pay without me needing to verify purchases.
For maybe a bit of additional context as well, the money I get is not from my own work. It's government benefits. I'm considered disabled and not fit for work. Not sure if people will see that as a problem but I thought I should mention it.
The thing with this dynamic is it's obviously all consensual. But we both know I'm an addict. We both know there is naturally regret with what I'm doing. But she'll still accept and take my money anyways.
Honestly I enjoy it. It is what I signed up for. But it's also a situation where I obviously could be in a better position if I wasn't doing this. My savings have been dropping significantly each month recently. And her having my card on her Google pay has allowed her to spend my money without me even having to beg for it. So there's no chance for me to change my mind in the moment. So I was just wondering how people would view a dynamic like this from the outside looking in? Unethical? Abusive? Or completely fine because she's doing it all with consent?
Small extra details, she has a bunch of blackmail details of mine if she ever decided to use them, but she doesn't actively hint at that. She has posted a couple of my pictures publicly, but not much. And she has my log in details to a few of my accounts.